


Not Little (Yoongi fanfic)

by sherlyn3798



Category: BTS FLUFF - Cheonsa Kim, Not Little - Cheonsa Kim, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Age Play Caregiver Jeon Jungkook, Age Play Caregiver Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Age Play Caregiver Kim Namjoon | RM, Age Play Caregiver Kim Seokjin | Jin, Age Play Caregiver Kim Taehyung | V, Age Play Caregiver Park Jimin, Age Play Little Min Yoongi | Suga, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Crying, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I Don't Even Know, Kim Namjoon | RM is a Little Shit, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-08-11 04:50:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 30
Words: 31,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20147926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlyn3798/pseuds/sherlyn3798
Summary: Yoongi prefer to hide his secret- something he wish his members won't find out because damn he will throw himself in a bridge if one of the members find out.That day always come no matter how hard he tried to hide it. After an accident confrontation from the eldest, he had to dwell with the hate feeling of disliking the little to finally accepting it.Cross post at Wattpad with the same title.P/s- I don't know how to write summary..





	1. 01

"Namjoon, where is he?" 

Namjoon ducked Seokjin ranted by mumbling nonsense as he keeps on shaking his shoulder, apparently getting an answer that even the younger didn't know about. 

"Hyung, what if, what if he was kidnapped? Or lying lifeless somewhere after having a street fight? Or fainting at some clubs after drinking his ass off??" Hoseok rants can't make Seokjin mind to calm down too. 

Jungkook pacing already making Taehyung dizzy from where he sits on the couch. 

The chaos were all because of one person; the almighty rappers a.k.a their little meow meow with foul mouth, Min Yoongi.

It's not a normal thing where Yoongi's staying in his studio for a couple of days, no, he's locking himself up in his studio for almost a month with no news from the said male. 

All of the members already doing everything; messaging, miss called including going to his studio to only getting a shout off, string of curse words onto them that makes them think twice to get him at his own studio.

"That's it," Seokjin exclaimed causing the chaos members to stop whatever they're doing and look to their eldest who suddenly stood up and went to his room. He then walked out back to them in a complete clothes with a car key and phone on hands. 

"I'm gonna drag this stubborn grandpa ass and shove his throat with foods because I bet with all of my Mario figurines he didn't even eat a proper meal," 

"I'm joining too,"

Namjoon unfortunately had to follow Seokjin with Taehyung who's forcefully dragging him out of the dorm and Seokjin car. 

The remaining members remain dumbfounded and blank as they watch their members from the moment Seokjin burst out to the last feet of Taehyung closing the door. They exchange gazes before shrug and continue on what they've been doing earlier, panicking.

~

On the long uncomfortable couch laid a man who's buried himself in a thick duvets with kumamon printed on it, the only can be seen was his grayish hair peeking from the duvet. 

Ring of dark colour circling Yoongi's closed eyes, his lips momentary jut out forming a pout that stay remained as he slept peacefully, oblivious to the chaos occurs in the dorm. 

If you see him closely, you will find a dropped pacifier right under his chin with kumamon printed on its front which attached to the clip on his collar shirt. His fists clutch unclutch from where he grip the duvet tighter to his chin. 

He looked so peaceful but the appearance of his studio room change the perspective of anyone who might be entering the room; cups of caffeine coffee either side of his work desk, some dropped to the floor or on the coffee tables, boxes of ordered food scattered everywhere. Papers of lyrics too lying either around those places making it looks like a disaster in a first gaze. 

Despite all of that, he's still sleeping peacefully with his lips moving slightly then stopped after with a pout remains. 

He was oblivious to his three members who's now standing outside of his studio contemplating either to knock on the door or just get inside.

~

"Hyung, hurry up and ring the bell. You're eager to come here in the first place," Namjoon already annoyed by now with Seokjin who's just wasting time by not doing anything.

Taehyung glance to Namjoon and Seokjin before shrug and sigh as he presses his finger on the bell. Taehyung only spare them a blank face with a "What?" when his eldest members watching him with mouth gap opened. 

Taehyung ringed again when he gets no response from Yoongi on the inside.

"Did he fainted or he aren't inside?" 

Namjoon cupped his ear on the door to check on any noise but he didn't even hear a clicking noise of keyboards from the inside nor Yoongi curse words. 

Namjoon retreated back with a shrug and a head shake. 

"Yoongi, are you in there? Yoongi," Seokjin decides to call his name and none of it even answered. He key in the password on the keypad attached beside the door. The door unlocked to a click sound as they slowly entering the studio. 

Seokjin grimace to the sight of the studio; too messy to his own liking. 

"Aww! Hyung, look at that," Seokjin directed his gaze to the two members who loudly cooed and what he saw is a really a cute sight to the three. 

"Yoongi, wake up gummy bear. Let's go home," Namjoon and Taehyung hold in their breath when Yoongi shift on his sleep. They prepared for profanities from his chapped mouth. 

What shocked them is the whining sounds coming out from the eldest. He turned away from the disturbing sound and pulling his duvet higher until it hides his head. 

"Aww, that's cute," Taehyung screech with excitement seeing Yoongi's state. 

"Let's get you home, baby-" but Seokjin words turn to a pause as he discovers something else under Yoongi's duvet. 

A pacifier. A fucking pacifier. 

Seokjin has a lot to ask from the sleeping Yoongi but for now his priority is to get Yoongi on his own bed. He can't let Yoongi stayed longer in the studio and seeing the mess of it, he grimaced slightly.

With the help of Namjoon, Seokjin carefully picked Yoongi with the duvet draped around him, pacifier hidden inside Seokjin pocket. He have a gut that whatever he secretly saw, he was sure that Yoongi doesn't want anyone to know.

"Taehyung, you drive. I trust you this time," Taehyung gracefully taking the key thrown by Jin to him and jogged to the driver seat. 

Seokjin thanks to all the Almighty above as Yoongi still sleeping along their ride to the dorm.

~

"Hyung! What happened to Yoongi hyung??!"

"Is he fainted?"

"I knew it, we should get him earlier,"

Namjoon shushed them and brought them to the living room away from Jin and Yoongi who is currently asleep despite the commotion. Namjoon scared that their loudness going to wake Yoongi up so he dragged the panic members with Taehyung help to the living room.

Jin slowly laid Yoongi on his bed across his own. Yoongi shift on his sleep then stopped and continue sleeping much to Jin relief. 

He pulls out the string of pacifier from his pocket and inspect it carefully. It size are a perfect size for Yoongi's lip and his frown deepen.

He watches as the chest moving with the duvet they brought along from the studio copying Yoongi slow breathing. 

"You're gonna ignore me tomorrow, I know it but no matter how hard you try, I will find a way to get the answer, Yoongi," 

He kissed his forehead and whispers a 'good night' as he switched on the desk lamp and turning off the main switch before he walked out of their shared room. 

'I should ask Mr Google for this then,' he thought before going to the kitchen to drink away his thirst he didn't know existed before he stepped out of Yoongi and his room.

**

New and freshly made. Took a lot of effort to get the suitable words out from my brain.

**

  
  
  



	2. 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seokjin being a great brothers as he's searching for the 'little space' things.
> 
> Or
> 
> Namjoon being an ass.

~Little Space is a mindset in which an adult relaxes into a state of carefree, responsibility-free safety~

Urban Dictionary 

He stops for a moment and reminisce what he recently found out. He read the text further to which he found a word of 'caregiver' that were highlighted in the text. 

He found this interesting, discovering he found is fascinating. He internally relief as Yoongi find a way to cope with stress by going into this safe space. At least he know Yoongi won't do drugs or self-harm which is dangerous to him. 

He ended up doing a full research for almost three hours before he eventually falling asleep with notes and an uncharged phone close to him on the dining table. 

He really take this stuff seriously.

~

Namjoon went to the kitchen with a big yawn follow after. It's eight in the morning and luckily it's their day off as none of his members are waking up, so do Jin. 

His step halt to a stop as he saw a sleeping Jin at the dining table. His left eyebrow lift with confusion as he spotted a notebook and phone either his side. 

Jin wake up with a startle as he felt his body shaking. He rubbed his eyes to gain more vision but crouch after when he feel the immense pain on his neck. He groaned slightly while massaging the pain away as he glanced to Namjoon.

"What time is it?" 

"It's eight in the morning, hyung. Why are you sleeping here? Are you and Yoongi fighting again?"

Namjoon slightly grimace if his expectations are true. It's rare for their two eldest to fight but when it happens, the whole company will noticed it too.

"No. I'm just caught up with all of my research that I didn't remember falling asleep here," 

Namjoon perk in pure interest of what could be making his eldest to decline his beauty sleep to search something. Before he even asking, the kitchen filled with exciting chats between the maknae line. 

"No food? Don't tell me Namjoon hyung finished all of it," said the golden maknae as he finds his seat on Jin's left. 

"Haha, funny. Both me and Jin just woken up, okay?" Namjoon exclaim back feeling insult by Jungkook accusation. 

"Oh?" Jimin intervene after, eavesdropping Jungkook and Namjoon morning conversation.

"You guys are so noisy," 

"Suga hyung!!" Jimin literally hugging the death of a sleepy Yoongi although the pale male cursing under his breath for his sleeping disturbance.

"Get off me," 

Jin still massaging his sore neck to which it crept to his head causing a slight headache to immerse. 

"Jin hyung, are you okay?" Hoseok asked after noticing Jin abnormal paleness crept on his tan face who furrowed his eyebrows in pain. 

"Yeah, I'm going to my room," 

All of them watch with game eyes as Jin with slow step going to his room. 

"Who's gonna make breakfast now?" Jungkook ask as soon as Jin sight disappear. 

Yoongi sigh as he stands up and opening the fridge with Hoseok follow after, being Yoongi helper.

It's a good thing Yoongi is in a good mood that morning because overall his cooking are surprisingly delicious. They thanked Yoongi and Hoseok for the meal before going to their own room.

"I'll go check on Jin hyung," Hoseok nod as he was cleaning the table while eyeing Yoongi back who are now disappear through the stairs.

~

Yoongi slowly creep into their shared room seeing a deep sleeper Jin; he's actually a light sleeper but as of now he looks like he didn't get enough sleep last night. 

Yoongi's mind of last night was a blur. He was curious of who's actually brought him to their dorm. He remember bits of what happened a couple weeks before; the completing of his song lists, stressed out, slipping then nothing. 

What interested him the most is how even his little favourite duvet reached their dorm and tucked on him in his bed? 

He wants to ask the others but he's too shy to do so. The only person he's comfortable with is Jin hyung, maybe because Jin is the only member that older than him.

Seeing how peace Jin is, he change his mind but a notebook with opened pages bring his interest. 

He knows he shouldn't invented someone's privacy, especially his hyung but he's suddenly interested to what was in it. 

He almost dropped the notebook after reading the content. 

'Jin hyung interested in Little Space?' He can't help but to be curious. 

He's known about himself being a little a couple months ago when he was alone in his studio. At that time he was too stressed; with pressures from Pd-nim, the song productions. That's when it's just happened. Right after, he made a research because at first he found it weird for an adult to craved for pacifiers, bottles, plush. He still can't adapt to it although he knows it was safe. It's too embarrassing and he wish to stay hidden for that one thing.

'I should ask Jin after he wakes up,'

~

"Where do you think you're going, Yoongi hyung?" 

Namjoon voices boomed inside his ears before he even reach the door. He side glance the younger before giving a blunt answer. 

"I'm off to my studio,"

"No. You're staying at home. You've been locking yourself in the studio for almost a month and now you're going back? That's not gonna happen," 

Yoongi hate it when Namjoon used his leader voice to make him obey. He hates it when someone command him to do things. A stubborn man he is.

"Don't use that tone. I'm still your eldest," he rolled his eyes annoying and reach for the door knob but before he even step out of the dorm, he was yet again being stopped by Namjoon but this time goosebumps going over his body as Namjoon pronounce his full name which were a new thing to him.

"Either you want me to lock you up in your own room or you don't go to that genius lab. I won't compromise things hyung," he hates it when Namjoon standing all dominant with menacing eyes bored on him and both his arms crossed to his chest. 

"You can't stop me~! I'm still your eldest~!" Yoongi will be death if he admits that he's indeed whining upon hearing Namjoon's threat.

Before his right feet land on the outside, he was swept into Namjoon shoulder, leaving him gaping in shock. Namjoon as true to his words. 

He was putted on Namjoon's bed. He was a step late when Namjoon shut the door right on his face and he grimaced when he heard a click from the outside. 

"Let me out! You can't do this to me! I'm gonna kill you Namjoon!" The truth is, he just scared to stay in Namjoon's room alone. After tiring himself by banging helplessly on the door, he slipped to the floor and taking a deep breath. 

Namjoon room was actually comforting if not for the youngest scary figurines filled the room. He ended up falling asleep through darkness before he even notice it.

Oh how regretful Namjoon will be later on for what he did to the eldest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **
> 
> So, how was it? This idea suddenly popped into my mind so rather to let it gone, why not placed it in here?
> 
> **


	3. 03

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi sweet moment with Seokjin aka Seokjin going to kill Namjoon for what he did to Yoongi.

Two hours later...

"Yoongi, you-" before Namjoon finished his word, Yoongi quickly running passed him with bloated and pinkish face. 

As soon as he heard the jingling of keys from the outside, he straight away waiting for the door to open and dashed away from Namjoon to his room.

'I'm upsetting him, aren't I?" Namjoon thought as guilt already sinking on his chest. He didn't mean to make Yoongi cry, he just wants to teach him- 'I guess I'm overreacting of the punishment. I shouldn't do that~'

Jin swing his head to the opened door seeing Yoongi straight away to his bed and cover himself with his thick duvet. His left eyebrow lift seeing Yoongi in a shaking state. He abruptly throwing his phone on his bed when he hears a muffled sobs from under the duvet. 

"Yoongi~ Yoongi, hey~" Yoongi flinch when he felt a pair of hands on top of his duvet. He's curling in a fetus state making him as smaller as possible. Jin heart and mind feel with nothing but worry and confuse. 

"Yoongi-ah, what is it? Why are you crying? Who makes you upset? Come out, please~" Jin going to kill that person that makes Yoongi upset. 

Jin slides inside the thick duvet and bring the fetus Yoongi closed to him. Yoongi automatically stick to Jin, easing his head on Jin's chest as the waterfall coming out of his eyes wetting Jin shirt in return, not that Jin care. His priority now is Yoongi.

Jin said nothing which is grateful enough. Soft and comforting words from Jin plus the soft circling rub on his back makes him visibly calm. 

Jin sigh in relief when Yoongi crying turn into just a hiccup and sniffs. He won't say more about the tightening arms on his waist. He thank God Yoongi finally calm.

After a comfort silent of 2 minutes, Jin softly ask, "Now tell me, what makes you upset?" He was met with a vibration of head shake and a whine of 'no~' from the latter. Jin know not to push the pale boy to not upsetting him more. He knows the tension will be revealed soon anymore- by Yoongi himself.

"It's okay, gummy bear. You don't have to. Now, why don't we go downstairs and eat. You haven't eaten yet, don't you?" He was met with a head shake on his chest. He sighed. 

"Come on, please? I promise I will be there by your side~" Jin provoke again to test the water. He still get a head shake as an answer. He sighed again for what feels like a hundred times. 

"Okay, I won't force you to come down but~ I will bring your food to the door, and you must eat it. Can you do that?" It's a painful of ten second silent but it was worth it when he feel a nod on his chest. 

"Okay, baby~ okay~" he said as he slid away from Yoongi's which made him pout more with the lack of skinship. Jin seeing this chuckling as he presses his lips on Yoongi pouting lips. He wants to coo at him and maybe lock him inside his pocket when a pinkish hue creep to Yoongi face while he whine with complain about Jin sudden kiss and how 'disgusting' it was although deep down he enjoys it.

"Wait here, okay? I'll bring your food~" 

"You won't be long? Eat with me?" Jin face change into a full blown awe. He was awestruck and almost faint with Yoongi small voice trying to voice his questions. 

"I won't~ and of course I will eat with you, silly Yoongi~" he tease and again, he receives the ever so cute whine from Yoongi. Note; Yoongi isn't a whiner, he will humiliating his swagness- Yoongi once said. 

He just never know how all the members adore him when he unconsciously showing his long pout or when he's quietly asking for affection and attention from the others. He didn't know his kitten eyes blink, all of them will fight to get what he wants. 

After a little reassurance from Jin, he let Jin hands go slowly as the eldest taking his and Jin dinner meal from the kitchen. He's unconsciously shaking his knees and gripping the edge of the duvet tightly on his hand when it feels so long after Jin gone. 

His gummy smile appear when he saw Jin entering the room with two plates- again making Jin wish to have another arms to capture that beautiful smile of Min Yoongi. 

Jin watch- cooing after when Yoongi sniffs the food from his plate- after it landed on his hands- before taking a bite. Jin want to snuggle him tightly seeing Yoongi pleased expression- eyes widen and sparkling with happiness as he munches his food. 

At this rate was sure that Yoongi actually at his little space- is he? 

'~but he didn't struggling? Maybe he not,' 

"Jin hyung, why aren't you eating?" 

Sure of what Yoongi asked, he haven't touch his food yet. 

They both eat peaceful with Yoongi occasional satisfied sounds while munching the food.

"Hyung~" Jin hum as a response while munching the meat. 

"Am I a bad member?" Jin almost choke on the meat he gladly chew upon hearing Yoongi sudden question. "What? Who said so?" Jin was acting like he's calming with his expression when on the inside he already planned a murder. 

"Myself," Jin demeanor changes to worried. 'Why would he think of such absurd?' Before Jin asking more, Yoongi open his mouth.

"I want to go to the studio earlier. Then, Namjoon catches me. I said bad things to him so~ he locked me in his room. I'm stubborn, I know I shouldn't talk like that to Namjoon when he did so much to us- me~" 

"What did you say to Namjoon that makes him mad?" He doesn't know who to blame so might as well asked him.

"That he's younger than me and he has no right to stop me~ I didn't mean it, sorry Jin~ I- I don't want a punishment~ I don't like being locked up~ I promise I won't be like that~ don't hate me, you hate me right now, right?" By that waterfall broke and Jin heart can't take Yoongi being sad. 

He get Yoongi half-eaten food to the table and brought him to his lap. He thought Yoongi already stop, he thought wrong. "~ It's dark, hyung~ I'm scared~ I pro-promise to al-always listen to y-you and Joon-Joonie~" 

He's going to kill Namjoon, that's for sure on his murder list. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like it, please vote and comment~


	4. 04

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi scared of Namjoon~

"I still mad at you~" Jin sing-song while chopping vegetables leaves furiously. He stares at Namjoon with his sharp gaze while his hand expertly moving the knife on the chopping board. 

Namjoon sigh for the hundredth time. They have been talking about this topic for an hour. He knows he's partly at fault. Unfortunately this one eldest can't seem to let him go easily- choking him with the guilty that already succumbed inside his heart. 

He brushed his hair with frustration and again, guilt. 

"Jin hyung, can we just stop for tonight and talk about it when we all feel refreshed and our minds aren't filled with anger and tiredness? It's 11 o'clock for fuck sake~" 

"Hey, you started it! Curse again, I'm gonna chop your tongue like I'm chopping meat," Jin point with his right hand which holding a- well, knife- making Namjoon gulp in fear and nodding admit defeat. Furious Jin is a bad news for them. 

"I don't care about this punishment, because that's your kink - cough, cough - but please, don't do it on Yoongi. He's traumatize because of you~ fuck, who's member not remembering their own member's fear," 

Namjoon eyes turn wide with Seokjin words- the kink part- and he had to agree with Jin for the last word- Namjoon know about Yoongi's fear of dark- and he forgets about it, too absorbed with his anger. 

"- and don't even expect Yoongi to talk with you tomorrow or the week after. You made him scared of you, you know~" Jin throw the shred of vegetable leaves inside a boiling water to make his soup- let me rephrase that- Seokjin's soup.

"I know, Jin-ah~" Namjoon sighed again as he leaned lazily against the armchair while watching Jin making his soup. He never understand Jin appetite- even late at night he can still woke up and making his own food. 

All Namjoon can think of are, how to face Yoongi?

~

Jin wake up with a refreshed mind and stare blankly of his door before standing up and stretching his arms high. After tidying his bed, he circled the big and high divider to Yoongi. 

Jin kneel in front of his face and caress his cheek and hair. After staring in awe at the sleeping Yoongi for two minutes, he pecked his forehead before round off to the door to prepare breakfast. 

It's the start of the weekday- Monday- and unfortunately they have to go to Big Hit for practicing. It's still early for the others- 6:45am when he's waking up just now. 

"Morning, Jin," Namjoon stretched his arms so high above his head he shamelessly showing his belly button. A big yawn escaped his mouth as he landed his butt on the blue dining armchair. 

Wake up Namjoon is hilarious with his squinted eyes and disheveled hair making a different direction. 

"I'm still mad at you~" Jin teased Namjoon again as he brought the plate of pancakes to the dining table. Namjoon groan- he can't faced this again at an early morning.

"Hyung~" he whines as another yawn escaped his mouth. 

Jimin was still half asleep with his eyes half opened when he entered the kitchen. Namjoon avoid Jimin's clinginess because he knows once Jimin laid on his shoulder, he will fall asleep again. 

"Jimin, wake up. Hey~" Jin helped shaking Jimin from his sleepiness. 

Jin end up excused himself to wake Yoongi from his sleep as it's already 7:30am. As he arrived at the room and standing beside Yoongi bed, he was met with a sprawl Yoongi with his left legs dangling outside of the duvet. 

"Yoongi!" He saw as the once wide lips unconsciously closed as a trail of tongue wetting its dry lips. Yoongi still didn't move even being called. 

"Yoongi-ah~ wake up~ come on," he was met with a small whine as the younger change his sleeping posture with his back facing Jin. 

"Yoongi, hey! You're gonna be late for breakfast~ wake up, now," Jin proceed to open the curtain and letting the sunlight peeking through the window. 

"'ive more 'inutes," Yoongi slur through the thick duvet before falling asleep again. His eyes feel heavy and he didn't need Jin morning nagging to ruin his sleep. 

"Wake up! We have a practice remember? Don't blame me if you wake up late with no breakfast~" He feel as the duvet shift away from his body making Yoongi whine for cold and because he's still feeling sleepy. 

He doesn't wanna get starve but he loves sleeping. After much contemplating, Yoongi sit up while rubbing his tired eyes with his fists. Jin just watch with fond look as Yoongi thrown up a small yawn and stretching his arms before putting his hand on top of Jin palm and walk together with him to the kitchen. 

"Are you sure you're not cute?" He was met with a whine as he rubbed his eyes again while letting Jin pull him to the kitchen. Jin giggles making the pale boy more frustrated as a long pout forming on Yoongi's face. 

He's too cute for their members weak heart to handle.

"Good morning, Yoongi-ah~" as soon as he heard the voice, Yoongi automatically hiding behind Jin's back. He's still scared to faced Namjoon. He's still on Jin's back when Jin find the seat for themselves. 

The others look at the two with a confused face while Namjoon look at the younger boy at Seokjin's side with guilt eyes. 

They will have another problem and a long day to do this.

  
  



	5. 05

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seokjin confronted Yoongi about 'little space'...

Seokjin standing still behind the closed door of Yoongi's studio lab. His thumb stay still on the bell button waiting for the pressure from him to ring it. 

He has been ignoring the things he'd discovered a week ago. It's not that he forgets or ignorant of it, the busy schedule causing his plan to be postponed until today. 

He can't wait it any longer. He need to confront Yoongi, asking for a confirmation, and straighten his mind of what things he saw a week ago. 

After contemplating and sighing, he rang the bell twice then stopped. He gazed on the doormat Yoongi put and no matter how many times he saw it, it always looked funny to him. It's just simply a Yoongi style. 

He rang it again with impatient when he receives nothing from the other side of the door. He cups his ear on the door to hear any movements but he heard nothing. 

He punches the numbers that he got from Jungkook and walk inside of the room to see a very concentrated Yoongi with earphones on. His left fingers tapping on the desk as he bobbing his head~ maybe listening to the song he created. 

Yoongi almost fell off the chair as Jin tapped his shoulder. He rubbed his chest and sighed in relief that soon changes into glares. 

"What are you doing here?"

"I bet you haven't eaten yet, right? So I bought noodles for you~" Jin showed the containers of noodles on Yoongi as he put it on the coffee table. 

Yoongi didn't say anything but changes his face and body to his work. "I'm not hungry, hyung~" He back to typing whatever it was to Jin as he sighed in frustration. There's more than just eating for Jin. 

"You've been locking yourself in this room for three days~ now I'm gonna forced you to eat with me. Come here-" Seokjin said as he takes away the headphones from his head and put eat beside the keyboard as he dragged Yoongi's chair closer to the coffee table. 

"Hyung~ the song is important and I need to finish it-" he didn't finish his words as he gets a sharp glare from the eldest that were meant, 'go on finish that words I'm challenging you-'. 

Seokjin open the lid and handed the container to Yoongi with chopstick as he too opened his. They eat in silence with the sound of them munching the noodles. 

After about 10 minutes they already done with their noodles. Yoongi is emptying the mineral water bottle when Seokjin opt to open his mouth.

"Yoongi-ah, we need to talk," 

(...)

"Is it that serious?" Yoongi asked and were receiving a firm nod from the eldest which he then put away the empty bottle on the table. 

"Remember a week ago, when you've been locking yourself like today in here?" 

Yoongi frown that soon turned into a horrified realisation. Did-

"It's me, Taehyung and Namjoon who get you out from this Studio. You were sleeping on this couch that time~" the colour of his face drained. He remembers that day too clearly. He was stressed; what's with Pd-nim pressured, the manager harsh words of his song- the stressed combined and he ended up broken down when he's midway recreating the songs. He feel useless; he feels like he can't do anything for the group- he cried and cried until there's no more tears coming from his eyes. 

Maybe because of the stress built up, his mind suddenly thought of childish things; paci, kumamon plush, kumamon blanket hidden in the third cupboard of his work desk. Maybe because his critical state of mind, he let the little wins. 

That's how he ended up on the couch.

"Hyu- did- hyung, did you- did Namjoon too-" 

"No!" Yoongi eyes turn wide with the eldest firm answer. Maybe seeing the fear on Yoongi face, Jin took a deep breath and sigh, giving him a reassuring smile as he scooted closer to the distress Yoongi.

"Whatever I discovered that night, I have a gut that you actually don't want any of us to know, right?" 

Yoongi blink. 

Of course. Seokjin always know. He is always considerate of others' feelings. 

Yoongi blink again.

"So that's mean, only you-" Seokjin gave Yoongi the most sincerest smile he ever have. 

"Yes and I'm the only one who pick you and brought you to your bed," Yoongi was silent then he nodded giving Seokjin a small smile. 

"I've done my research about the thing I found but~ I want to hear it from your own mouth," Seokjin keep his tone soft to make Yoongi know he's fine with it and that he's not even disgusted with what he found. 

Yoongi mind twirling again. He finds the things- little space- he's still cringing whenever he thought of it- something quite disturbing to him. Turning into a baby mentally isn't something he wants yet no matter how hard he tries to get rid of it- how hard he tries to not fall into the temptation of being care off, he can't. 

He just didn't know when he's stressing out, it's the highest chances he will fall into it without he even noticing it. 

Can he trust Seokjin? Of course he can. Seokjin is like the second eldest to him. Seokjin won't judge him, right? 

He changes his gaze from his lap to Jin face. All he gets is a reassuring smile from Seokjin. After thinking thoroughly, he takes a deep sigh and open his mouth.

"I'm a little,"

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~
> 
> So, how was it? Did it turn out great? Oh gosh, this one actually been playing on my mind so without wasting it, I wrote it out and the result is this one. 
> 
> If you ever have a question regarding my characters or little space, feel free to comment your question here or dm me~


	6. 06

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi accepting that he is a little...and Seokjin finally Yoongi's main caregiver.

"I'm a little,"

Yoongi fidgeting in his seat as he focuses on the busy fingers on his lap. He is afraid of Seokjin judging eyes or Seokjin comment on him being- being little. The thought of it makes him visibly cringe. 

He stop fidgeting when Seokjin large hands on top of his make him averted his eyes to the smiling Seokjin. Seokjin then sigh though the smile still there.

"How long did you keep this to yourself- before I accidentally knew?" 

There's a long silent between the two before Yoongi end up sighing and reply, "two years, hyung," 

Seokjin eyes budge into a big circle upon hearing Yoongi unexpected answer. "Two years and you never bother to tell the others? Or me? Don't you trust me?" 

Yoongi still eyeing their hands that were entangled; their hands look perfectly together which he found weird. Yoongi sighed again as he thinks of Seokjin question. 

Did he not trusting his members? No, he trusts them too much; more than his family. Why didn't he told them about his secret? 

"I-I trust you, hyung~ I just- I don't actually like- I hate being in little- I'm scared to lose myself in that foreign space. I feel like I can't control it no matter how hard I try," Yoongi look at Seokjin eyes then change it to his- still entangled hands. 

Seokjin was awestruck of what was out from Yoongi mouth. 'So, that's the reason, huh?' Seokjin think of a suitable words, forming a right words to get Yoongi opened up on him. He knows one wrong words will bring Yoongi further away from Seokjin.

"Okay," Seokjin sigh again.

"~but I prefer you being in little space. It's a healthy way for you to get stress free-"

"-but it's embarrassing, hyung," Yoongi to Jin didn't even know how cute he is- especially with the pout displayed after he talked his thought earlier own but Jin didn't dare to comment on it. He doesn't want to embarrass Yoongi even further. 

"~ It's not, Yoongi~ for me, it's not. I rather you having this way to stress free rather than you doing drugs, gambling or fight on the streets," Seokjin can see the fog fighting on Yoongi's head. 

"Besides, you're cute, Yoongi-ah with the kumamon blanket on you," he received a long whine of 'hyung' from Yoongi with a prominent pout and creeps of red from the neck to his whole face. 

Seokjin put his arms in surrender mode indicating he won't teasing again although they both know it's the otherwise. Yoongi fight back by playfully punching Seokjin right upper arm. 

Yoongi then sigh. He despised little space but he then found out how relieving he was after talking it with the eldest. His eyes then change into a wide realisation after remembering something. 

"The notes- I accidentally read your notebook and~ why it's all about little space? Did you-" Yoongi bite his upper lip looking at the eldest. 

Seokjin was confused and wondering what notebook did Yoongi talked about before he realised something. 

"I do it for you, Yoongi. I'm curious at the time I saw you with the cute pacifier and kumamon blanket, I made a move to search more of it until I saw little space blog," 

Yoongi was awestruck and at the same time he feels weird. No one ever do something for him just like how the eldest doing now. The fact that Seokjin make it like this stuff; little space is something as important as something else make his heart swell. 

"Thank you, Seokjin hyung~ for everything," 

"Why thanked me? I just do what a brother should do, taking care of his youngest brother," they both exchange smile before Seokjin changes the subject before they get a little emotional. 

"I assumed no one except me know about little space, right?" He was satisfied with a firm shaking of heads from Yoongi before he resumes. "I read from the blog that littles need at least a caregiver to take care of them when they are in that fragile mindset, right?" Nod.

"What if~ I want to be your caregiver? I mean~" Did he rush things up? Seokjin rub his back of neck as a hue of red coloured both of his ears. He just want to smack his blunted mouth. 

"~I mean, it just means I take care of you- not in a sexual way because if you're not comfortable- I read it somewhere that they're two type of caregiver plus little relationship so- I'm still new to this but- I'm really sure with my own decision- that's if-"

"Hyung~" and giggles from Yoongi with Jin as he babbling non-stop. He found it funny because as far as he knows, Jin is a confident man and to see him flustered to just appoint his reason to be Yoongi's caregiver makes his heart giddy in happiness. 

"I know, I've done the research too... I would love it if you're my caregiver~ if you want to, I won't mind if you back out later hyung. Handling little me will be harder, hyung.... I know that, so~" he want to mentally smack his head for being a fool. He can't help but get upset later on if Jin decides to take back his words of being his caregiver. He doesn't know what's wrong with him.

"Yoongi, I never broke my promise and I'm determined with what I've just decides. Would you mind that?" It's Seokjin turn to get nervous. What if he said no of him being his caregiver? What if Yoongi found a great caregiver, even better caregiver than him? What if-

"Hyung, you're thinking too much. Of course I love to... I bet little me will like you, hyung," Seokjin visibly relax with Yoongi words. Oh how relief he is after hearing the approvals. Can't believe he will be this nervous and sweaty just to get Yoongi's approval. 

"Do you still gonna keep this between us?" 

Yoongi know the question will be asked sooner or later by his new caregiver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I'm back again... 
> 
> How was it?***


	7. 07

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Members stress up with all of the comeback that leads to something unexpected..

~

Yoongi look at his hands on his laps then shrug for the answer of Jin's question.

Seokjin can see the tension on Yoongi's shoulder. He sighed and decided to drop the subject. Before he even start talking, Yoongi talk, "I'm scared. What if they hate me? Of course they will. I hate myself too. I'm an adult but act like a kid. I will be freaked out of myself too~" 

There's a pout stuck on Yoongi's lips as he expressed his fear to the eldest. Seokjin don't want Yoongi to feel discomfort and end up hating of being a little, he says, "I won't force you. This is about you, not me, not other members. You don't have to tell them if you're not ready, okay?" He was satisfied as he received a nod from Yoongi. 

The two are in silent for a moment when Seokjin asking this question that caused Yoongi to blush. 

"Do you have little stuff?"

"I only have the blanket, and paci" he pronounces the last word in a whisper but nevertheless Jin hear it. Instead of teasing Yoongi, he gives the softest smile to the younger to show that he indeed didn't feel weird about it. 

Seokjin kind of sad after hearing the least stuffs Yoongi have for when he's regressing. This can't be tolerable.

"Let's go," Yoongi was dumbfounded when Seokjin suddenly standing up, leaving the warm feeling on his hand- which he longing for it after- and grabbing his coat. 

"Go where?" Yoongi asked.

"To the mall, duhh. We're gonna buy the stuff, toys, books, anything for little you.. come on," Seokjin said like it's a normal thing to talk about while Yoongi are still sitting with dazed mind but a pink hue already coloured his pale cheeks. He hates being the whitest members- they can easily detected the pink hue on his cheeks when he's crying, embarrassed and shy.

Seokjin halt when he didn't hear any movement from Yoongi. Looking at his back he saw the boy who's still on his seat but with a blush face. He almost slapped his face for being ignorant. 

Seokjin sigh. He needs to take things slow. He kicked himself for never asking Yoongi first either he want it or not. He kicks himself again for being too excited for being a first-time caregiver when Yoongi should be his priority. 

"I'm sorry, baby. I should ask your opinion first before blurting things," the blush darker when he heard the pet name. 

"Are you here just to discuss about this?" 

"Not really. Let's go home," that change Yoongi. He huff and move away from the eldest bringing along the chair to his work desk.

"I have more stuff to do. You can go home first," he plugged the headphone on his head and tap his fingers on the keyboard. 

Seokjin just watches with a sigh before turning his heel to the door. He took a quick glance on Yoongi before walking out, closing the door after. 

~

They are now practicing for their comeback song- Fire. 

It's been a month since that happened and the two act like nothing happened at all between themselves. Even though it likes that, Seokjin still being a great caregiver to Yoongi. 

While Yoongi often not avoiding him, he will always find a way to get closer to the younger. He bought his little toys, clothes, you name it- secretly of course from online shops. 

On day time, Yoongi is being himself but later at night, Seokjin will make sure to take care of the boy. Yoongi might looks like he didn't need Seokjin but at night it's otherwise. He often found himself slipped when he's alone with Seokjin- which he's grateful and okay with. He can't imagine if other members besides Seokjin see him in that state. 

Now back to practicing, everyone was on edge. 

They are supposed to release the music video in early May. The audio already recorded. What left now are the choreography and the shooting which should be done before the end of March. 

Because of the stress of comeback, all of them pushing themselves past their limit. The one most stress out among them is Hoseok. He needed the dance to get perfectly done and oh should I tell you, a stress and edgy Hoseok aren't the sunshine Hoseok anymore. 

"Again," the other groan as they have to restart their dance. Hoseok aren't that bad, but because of the upcoming comeback, he tends to get harsher. That's because he wants the best for the group. 

Nevertheless, they started again but was stopped again when Hoseok point out Jimin. They know not to argue about it with a tired body and mind, they dance again. 

This time it's Yoongi.

He didn't know what is wrong with him for that day. He knows he's getting slower because of the lack of sleep he gets. With how late he came home last night- or maybe this morning, two or three hours later they had to be at the company's building to practice. 

"Stop! Yoongi, what's wrong with you? Can you stop messing around?" Yoongi never feel this humiliated. He rarely made mistakes so as a kind eldest, he just bow and run to his own position. 

Seokjin watch with worried of Yoongi. He can see how tired Yoongi is. The way he swayed the body dangerously making the caregiver mode on him rising up. 

Before they even react, Jungkook only loud gasp filled the studio as he fortunately stopped Yoongi's body from landed on the floor by putting his arms under his back. 

The music abruptly stopped. All of the members crowded Yoongi and Jungkook. 

This is a nightmare Seokjin thought before he knelt in front of Yoongi.

"Jimin, get the water bottle. Hoseok, get me a towel. Jungkook, put him on your lap," Seokjin instruct and all of them rush to do their jobs. 

Seokjin pat Yoongi's cheek several times before wiping the wet towel that he gets from Hoseok on his face. 

What Yoongi said next after he woken up that shock them is,

"Daddy?"

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hu~
> 
> Can't believe how hard it is to think of a better idea. Finally, a new chapter arises. 
> 
> Off topic I know but, 
> 
> Get well soon, Taehyung-ssi.. ARMY will always pray for you...💕💕


	8. 08

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Members discovered new things 
> 
> A.k.a
> 
> Little Space.

~

What did he say? 

The studio are too silent. No one's talking except for the mix sounds of them breathing. Seokjin are in shock to see Yoongi wake up in a little space while the others are confused about the word he uttered.

Yoonie want his daddy but where is he? He was scared of the face he saw from above his face on where he's lying. He slowly moved up but the headache caused him to whimper.

"Daddy, up~" he finally found his daddy. 

Everyone except for that one person look at him in surprises. 

Yoongi never getting too far with names before. He only called him 'Jinnie' or 'hyung'. He was awestruck with the names entitled to him. His eyes widen in horror when Yoongi lips quivering dangerously.

Yoongi felt neglected. Did daddy didn't love him? He still put his arm up to be held by Seokjin but the eldest just sat there with a blank face. 

Seokjin pull the boy to his chest before the waterfall works. He ushered the others to wait for him at the van although he can see the confusion on their faces. His priority now is Yoongi and he know Yoongi doesn't like crowds.

Seokjin turn into a full mode caregiver as he comforts the baby on his lap. There's a swelling of pride on his heart when Yoongi subjected him as his main caregiver. He feel honored. That's mean Yoongi trusted him, right? 

"Let's get you home, okay baby?" He gets a nod from the younger. After secured him on his hip, he switched off the lights and electric devices before closing the door. He's almost in tears as Yoongi whisper 'daddy' on his neck on where he nuzzled it. He can't believe his dream to be called daddy (not in a sexual way~) by Yoongi becoming real. 

Yoongi swing his legs while making his arms circling securely on the eldest neck. Along the way to the car, Jin occasionally bounced the boy on his hip to prevent him from falling asleep. Unknown to Jin, the bouncing lured Yoongi to sleep. 

On the van, Jimin and Taehyung who are sitting beside Jin cooing softly of Yoongi who is on the eldest left shoulder. They want to touch him but scared to wake him up. They don't know what it is but the sight of their eldest are cute to them.

As they arrived, Yoongi already falling asleep. Hoseok get Jin and Yoongi's bags which the eldest grateful of and bring it to the shared room. 

He need to wake the younger for a bath. As much as he hates waking up the tired boy, he know Yoongi won't like it to sleep with sticky body and end up ruining his bed with the smell. 

"Yoon, wake up for a moment baby. I need to give you a bath," he responded with a sleepy whine but Seokjin keep on bouncing the male on his hip on his way to their connected bathroom.

"Gummy bear, open your eyes for awhile. Please~" he set the little on the soft mat on the floor as he went to the bathtub and set the water. 

Little or normal him, he hates being disturb on sleep. As a protest, he whines loudly and rolled his body out of the mat and lay flat by his chest. Seokjin watch with amusement as the boy falling asleep again with that position. 

"Aigoo, my pouty baby~" he picked the boy up, ignoring the protest and the 'angry' face as he pulled of his training clothes and put it on their laundry basket. 

Seokjin lower him on the warm water slowly. With Yoongi occasional whimpers and whine, and Seokjin occasional apologize for disturbing his sleep, he finally cleaned. 

Seokjin let him sleep after changing him to a pull ups and onesie. It's his turn to clean up as he grabbed his towel and to the bathroom.

~

After securing the blanket on his body, Seokjin turn his heel to the door before closing the door but leaving a tiny gap between it. 

After grabbing a glass of cool water, he went to the living room to see the still awake members. They all tilt their heads like a robot to Seokjin when they heard the soft pitter pat of the eldest feet. 

"Where's Yoongi?" Namjoon ask.

"Sleep," what's Seokjin answer as he landed himself on the couch next to Namjoon and sip his plain water. 

"What happened to Yoongi? Is he okay? Why is he like that?" Three questions from the maknae that can only make Seokjin sigh. 

"Are you two dating?" That almost choked Seokjin from the drink. He looks to Taehyung with wide eyes, feeling absurd with the question being asked.

"We are not.. why would you think of that way?" Seokjin remark.

"He called you daddy, hyung. What could that mean if not 'that'?" He choked on his drink again. Hearing the word 'daddy' from other members actually sounds weird for him. 

Now that he thinks of it, he hasn't explain even one bit of what happened between him and Yoongi. Now he know where's this weird question coming from.

"I need everyone to focus on what I'm gonna explain, okay? And if after this, you guys find it weird, please don't say anything to Yoongi. It mean a big part on him. Can you promise me that?" 

After getting a reassuring nod and multiple 'yes', he takes a deep breath and sigh. After opening his eyes, he utters it, 

"Yoongi is a little,"

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, where is this going? 
> 
> Should I make like one member hate Yoongi because of his little space or Should I make all of them like Yoongi? 
> 
> Comment.. 


	9. 09

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seokjin explained the 'Little Space' 
> 
> Or
> 
> Yoongi had an 'accident'

"A little what?" 

Seokjin sighed again as he put away the empty glass beside his leg. "Just little. It's a little space where Yoongi regressed as a kid or baby mentally. It's not that harmful as the purpose of it is to distress," Seokjin walked to his room leaving the others who are still dumbfounded. 

Tip toeing to his study desk, he grabbed the notebook and walk out of the room as quiet as possible. He sighed a relief when he saw the still sleeping Yoongi covered with his blanket. 

He takes a seat on his previous seat and handed the notebook to Namjoon who's taking it and reading the context. 

The notebook went from hands to hands until it stopped at the owner of the book. 

The faces of the members are unpredictable as Seokjin read them from his seat. There's a pregnant silent in the space before Hoseok break it. "When do you know?" 

"Two months ago," Seokjin answer as simply as that. 

"How? Did he tell you?" Jimin asked.

"No. I accidentally saw him in little when we fetched him a while ago," 

"You mean, that time when he's locking himself for almost a month and we....? Why didn't you say something?" Taehyung said to Jin who's leaning his head on the head couch.

"I don't want him to get embarrassed and besides, I know nothing of this too. I know because I made research before confronted him," Seokjin explain.

Namjoon face then changed to nothing but guilt. He remembered that time when he locked Yoongi and the crying sight of Yoongi as he opened the door. "Hyung, you should tell me. I~ I made him cry, hyung.. I-" "It's not your fall, Namjoon. You don't know it," Seokjin said before Namjoon beat him again for something he can't control. 

"I don't know, hyung. The unexpected news, Yoongi.... It feels weird and- how about the management, hyung?" They averted their gazes to Hoseok. 

Seokjin don't have an answer for that. He didn't know what to do either. The only thing they can do is wait for Yoongi and seek explanation from him. This topic is also a part of the younger so they also need to listen to Yoongi. 

"Why didn't he tell us?" Jungkook said next and the others just nod with head hanging low. 

All of the questions stressed Seokjin but all he had to do was just sigh. He can't answer all of that because although he knew it, it should be on Yoongi's part. 

"Let's wait till he's awake. For now, let's take a rest. I know you guys exhausted too," but the faces shown to Seokjin said that they won't go to bed soon. Seokjin sighed again as he says, "Go to bed all of you. It's almost one in the morning," 

He then brought his empty glass to the sink and left it there, feeling lazy to wash it. He went to their shared room and as quiet as possible he locked the door. 

It was definitely a tiring day. 

~

Seokjin thought he was dreaming as he felt a tug on his arm shirt. He sways it away as he faces the giant shelf. He then feel the tugging again but this time with whimpers and sniffs. That's actually wake him up.

He looked to the other side to see a standing Yoongi holding a kumamon plush. He didn't question the pacifier in his mouth as he switched on the table lamp and sitting straight facing Yoongi.

"'m sorry~" his lip quivering and another waterfall broke as the hug on the plush becoming firm. Seokjin turned into a caregiver mode upon hearing the lisp. 

"Why are you sorry, Yoongi?" Seokjin asked.

"Had accident... 'm sorry," he is fully sobbing and Seokjin wasted no time to hug the little boy. Accident? What-

Oh 

"It's okay, baby. It's just an accident~" Seokjin cooed as he wipes the tears that are falling on Yoongi's cheek. 

"Let's get you clean up, should we?" He held Yoongi unoccupied hand and with his other hand he switch on the main lights of their room. Passing Yoongi bed, he saw a big yellow patch on the middle of the bed. He didn't worry about that as he needs to get the little to clean up. 

He guides Yoongi on the closed toilet bowl as he went to the bathtub. Letting the water filled the tub after adjusting the temperature, he crouched on Yoongi's leg. 

"Let's take the icky clothes off, should we?" He pinches the nose as the younger scrunch it, feeling itchiness from the pinching. He put his arm up, letting the eldest to help him. 

Seokjin comply without any complain. After taking off the last piece of cloth, he guides the boy to the bathtub and lower him until his chest reach the water level. 

The two are in peace. Occasionally, Seokjin will playfully splashed the water at Yoongi which he received an ever so lovely giggles. "Daddy~" he takes revenge on his daddy by doing the same thing. 

Seokjin was soaking wet from head to toe as soon as he finished bathing. Seokjin guide the little to his bed seeing his own bed haven't been clean. Seokjin walk to their shared closet and went to Yoongi section of clothes. As usual of him, almost all of the clothes are either black or white which Seokjin had least interest off. He went to another section he know so well- filled with Yoongi little clothing. 

Grabbing the kumamon printed onesie and diapers, he walked out of the closet and to Yoongi. "I'm sorry for taking such a long time, baby," he said after seeing how shaking the baby is from the coldness.

Baby powder on, diapers, onesie and done. Yoongi look so cute while sucking his pacifier making his heart almost jumped out of his chest. It makes him want to snuggle him more so that's what he did. 

"Why are you so cute, baby? Don't get too cute or else I will die from all of this cuteness," maybe he exaggerating his word because as soon as Yoongi hear the word 'die', his kiow quivering and he share his head and, " no die.. daddy no die.." he indeed death now. 

"Oh my so sorry, Yoongi. Daddy is sorry. Daddy won't die," 

"'a'dy 'o 'ie?" Oh, the lisp. 

"No, baby~ daddy just being silly~" Seokjin blow raspberries on Yoongi puff cheeks causing giggles formed on him which sounds heaven to Seokjin.

"Silly 'a'dy~" Yoongi repeated with a heavy lisp as he avoided the eldest kissing. Giggles of his filled the room as Seokjin teased the little by kisses all over his face. 

"Stay here, okay baby. Daddy's gonna clean up the icky bed," after a final peck on the forehead, he circling the shelf and to Yoongi's bed.

After putting the dirty bedding on the machine and changes it to the clean one, he walked back to his bed only to see a sleeping Yoongi. A smile crept across his face as he readjusted Yoongi's sleeping posture. 

It's still three in the morning and after switching off the main lights and his desk lamp, he cuddling on Yoongi as he falls asleep. 

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should it be called fluff? I don't know...


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little Yoongi met the others for the first time...

Seokjin wake up to an empty space on his side where Yoongi once lying. He rubbed his eyes and stretches his limbs. He sits up still in a daze as if he feels like something he's forgetting-

Practice.

He hurried out from the bed and he grimaced when he saw the alarm clock which strikes twelve at noon.

He let his bed in messy as he rounded the big shelf and to the connected bathroom. There's a shriek from the inside and when he sees it, he almost stumbled on the door frame as he stepped backward while yelling, "I'm sorry,". 

There's naked Yoongi taking a shower. Oh, my eyes.

He waited at the wall while hugging his towel. He watches as the door opens revealing Yoongi with a towel on his lower body. His hair still wet and there's a pink hue on both of his cheeks as he made eye contact with the eldest. 

Seokjin run inside the room and locked the door before relieving a sigh. He proceeded to clean himself.

~

"Why no one tell me this?" 

They are given a day off and none of them bother to tell Seokjin. He almost went out of the door before Namjoon stopped him and told him the news. 

"Yoongi hyung?" Jimin said as he saw a silhouette of the small rapper hiding himself behind the wall. He slowly walked out of his hiding and choose his seat next to Seokjin. 

"There's no practicing for today, Yoongi," Seokjin said. 

"I know, hyung. I just forgot to tell you," Yoongi said. He's still scared of Namjoon though seeing him standing unfortunately too closer to him. He hide half of his face on the eldest arm, seeking comfort from him.

"You too? Is everyone getting that old already?" Seokjin jokingly said to not anyone specifically. 

"We're not old. You're the only one that is old here," Yoongi said (whining actually) while still hiding his face on Seokjin arm.

"Oh, is that so?" Before Yoongi even retort back the answer, loud giggle immerse the building as Seokjin tickling Yoongi on his waist. 

The sight actually cute to the others who are watching.

After several minutes of tickle tortured, Seokjin let him breath after seeing Yoongi red face. The gummy smile was still on the younger face as he stares at the eldest. Seokjin can't dwell with how cute the boy can be push the button nose that makes him scrunch in itchiness.

Seokjin might or might not forgetting the existence of his members who are with him and Yoongi in the living room as when he tilted his head to his front, he saw fond look on their faces. 

"Awe, that's cute~" Taehyung dreamily said as he watched Yoongi face turning red from the extra attention and Taehyung words.

"You're right, Tae. Yoongi hyung is so cute," a big smile on Hoseok face as he agreed to Taehyung words. 

Yoongi didn't know why but the extra attention, the loving comments of him makes him giddy inside. He didn't notice the switch inside his head. 

"Daddy, why all Mr look at Yoonie like tat?" Little Yoongi and Big Yoongi has this separate memories of the members. Big Yoongi already know them but Little Yoongi didn't know even one of them, except his daddy.

That's because he's been attached on Seokjin since the beginning.

"Yoonie?" Seokjin was shock to find out that Yoongi regress in a time like this. He never complains.

"Daddy?" He mimicked Seokjin voice then landed his head on the eldest lap. As he made eye contact with Jimin, he faces Seokjin belly, hiding his already red face. All of the stranger faces plus his daddy are so good looking that he suddenly feel intimidated.

"Baby, why?" Seokjin said with a chuckle as he watches the cute antics of Yoongi on his lap. 

"'m shy," the words slur and almost can't be heard by Jin but as it enters his ear, he can't stop the smile creeping out of his face. 

"Why? Come, sit," Seokjin help the baby to sit facing the others but when he did, he changes his sitting posture as he buried his face on Seokjin chest, arm circling Seokjin waist. 

Seokjin coo at the gestures as he gestured to the others to make a first move on Yoongi.

Taehyung who's getting impatient went first. 

"Yoongi~" he cooed as he crouched to Yoongi's level on Jin's leg while rubbing his exposing back. Yoongi tilts his head on the other side but as soon as he saw Taehyung eyes, he gets shy and thus buried himself deeper on Seokjin chest.

"Don't you wanna befriended me? I'm sad because Yoonie don't wanna be my friend," Taehyung fake cry at least get the attention of the little as he tilted his head back to Taehyung. 

Seeing Taehyung crying making him sad too as he outreach his arms out. 

Taehyung was surprised but happy on the inside as two pair of hands wiping his fake tears on his cheeks. "Mr, don't cry... Mr cry, Yoonie cry~" Taehyung changes his face after seeing the dangerously quivering lips. 

"I'm know longer crying. See, I'm happy now because Yoonie wanna be my friends~" Yoongi copy Taehyung claps which make the others cooing loudly. The sight broke their heart. 

"Yoonie love made fwends... wats Mr names?" Seokjin lift his left eyebrow hearing the question. Does Yoongi not know them? 

"You don't know my name?" And was met with a confused look and a firm shake of the head. He tilted his head on the eldest with the same look as if to ask, 'Do I know them?' look. 

The others interrupt the two too my asking the same questions which Yoongi answer the same and at some point he's whining as the same question makes him tired.

He looks at his daddy as if to ask him for help. How could Seokjin let his baby being tortured in pure confusion with the kitten eyes blinking on him and the long pout on his lips? 

"How about we let these Mr tell their names, okay? Besides, they are daddy and big Yoonie's friend," Yoongi silent for a moment with the others waiting anxiously on his response.

If these Mr are Big him friends along with his daddy, why not? 

They get a nodding from Yoongi which make them relieving the breathing they never know they hold it for how long. 

And the introduction begins.

~

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's this? 


	11. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just focused on Namjoon thought of Yoongi or 'little Yoongi'.

It's wrong to think this way, Namjoon thought. 

He shouldn't feel weird about it yet whenever he sees Yoongi on the floor surrounded by Hoseok, Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung, he can't help but to feel weird and slightly disgust? He doesn't know. 

As a friend of eight years, he should know Yoongi better. If this is how Yoongi coped with stress, he should consider it, think about it. He is a 148 IQ for fuck sake. 

"Joonie, made dis for you~" he breaks away from his own thought when he saw Yoongi standing in front of him with both hands on his back. Slowly with pink hue on his cheek, he showed off the love shaped made of doh to Namjoon.

Namjoon actually touched with Yoongi simple yet meaningful action. He carefully taking the love shape to his hand and examine it carefully. "Joonie look sad... Yoonie made dis for you.. no sad sad... otay?" 

Namjoon are fully guilty now. There's tears in his eyes but he blinked it away as he present the sincerest smile to Yoongi which he received back with a shy smile from the little. The other just watch without interrupting anything. 

Namjoon brought Yoongi closer to him and sit him on his right tight. 

Yeah, this is still his elder member. This is still his best friend. Even in his smaller mindset, he still care of him although little him barely know Namjoon. 

Namjoon asked a lot of questions with Yoongi enthusiastically answer all of it. That's how their evening goes by.

~

On late evening, they thought Yoongi will still being a little after he woke up from his afternoon nap. 

They thought wrong.

"Baby- Yoongi," as soon as he saw Yoongi in black outfit coming inside the kitchen. 

"Hey, hyung~ what's for dinner?" Yoongi ask while searching for a chair to sit. 

"Just a simple dinner, Yoongi. How are you today?" Seokjin and from behind the countertop, stirring the fish curry and tasted it a little before humming in satisfaction. 

"Refresh.." Yoongi indeed feel refreshed. The positive aura lingering around him at the moment. 

"Good to hear. Now, would you like to help me getting plates?" Seokjin receive a happy 'okay,' from Yoongi. 

Everyone settled in one by one and the last person to enter is Namjoon. 

Upon seeing Namjoon, he scooted closer to Seokjin. He didn't know why he still feel intimidated and scared of Namjoon when the incident happened two months ago. Even having eye contact with him caused shiver getting him. 

There's one thing that need to be solved, that's what Namjoon thought. He can't help but to feel upset when he saw Yoongi still scared of him. 

After the dinner, he called Yoongi to meet him at his in-house studio. Yoongi tried to find excuses at first, mainly because he didn't want to be alone with Namjoon but after some comforting words from Seokjin, he brave himself meeting Namjoon.

He knocks twice and after an affirmation from the leader, he entered the room that are filled with Ryan figurines from lower shelf to top shelf. 

Namjoon gestured him to sit on the couch as he too sit across Yoongi.

There's a long silent before Namjoon broke it with a sigh. 

"Yoongi, I know what I did two months ago aren't right.. I shouldn't let my temper got the best of me, I'm sorry, hyung," Namjoon apologise. 

"It's okay, Namjoon. It's my fault too. You did that for the best of me too," Yoongi said although his head hanging low, taking his gaze on his fingers. 

"No, Yoongi. I disrespected you and that's not right. You have a right to do whatever you want, you're an adult and I shouldn't did whatever I did just like last time to you. I'm sorry, Yoongi~" Namjoon pray for luck when he landed his hands on top of Yoongi pale hand, squeezing it. 

The gestured makes Yoongi calm actually although he didn't say it out loud. 

"From now on, I promise I won't do such stupid things to you, even when my temper took over, okay?" Namjoon promised as he waited for Yoongi respond anxiously. 

"Don't do that again, Namjoon. Any punishment but not that one~" Namjoon nod before bringing the boy to his chest after he saw the first tears dropped from his eyes.

"Not that.. no more punishment.. I'm sorry, baby~" it's a slip of the tongue but Namjoon find a relief when Yoongi didn't even complain of the use of pet names. 

He can feel a nod on his chest. Just that simple gesture, he feel ask all of the burden on his shoulder finally released. Namjoon promised himself to never makes Yoongi sad, and will always support whatever the eldest do as his backbone. 

~

"Hyung, have you seen Joonie hyung?" Jimin asked Hoseok after searching for him in his room. 

"At his studio with Yoongi, maybe doing works," Hoseok shrug before continue on scrolling his Twitter feeds. 

Jimin run to the studio after being told by Hoseok. 

"Who's that?" Namjoon asked from the inside as soon as he knocked on the door. 

"Jiminie~" he almost yelled after getting a 'come in' from Namjoon but was shushed then after Namjoon gestured to his couch. 

Jimin confusion turned into a gleam of happiness as he turns his gaze to the couch. Yoongi is sleeping with his normal fetal position with Namjoon's blanket drab on him. 

"Let him be. What do you want, Jimin?" After pecking Yoongi's forehead and readjusted the blanket, he turned his gaze to Namjoon to explain his reason for disturbing the leader. 

~

It's getting great for the first paragraph but then I'm getting too lazy thus the last paragraph is just like that~

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting great for the first paragraph but then I'm getting too lazy thus the last paragraph is just like that~


	12. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon asking for some advise from the almighty Seokjin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's okay to feel that way guys. Not all understand this stuff. Some will take time to grasp this topic called 'little space', some full out misunderstood the situation thus lashing out foul words to the little. 
> 
> If you find your closed one or your friends a little, do not judge. If you're comfortable with it, back off in silence. Don't even say a word that will hurt their feelings. 
> 
> Little or not, they are still human beings that have feelings too. 
> 
> Peace ✌

"Hyung, I- are you busy right now?" Namjoon said after he see Seokjin in glasses, focusing on his laptop with a notebook and pen beside him.

  


"Yes, Namjoon? Come in. I'm almost done anyway," Seokjin said before saving the assignment that should be submitted next week but for the sake of his distress brother, he postponed his work. 

  


Taking off his glasses and put on top of his book, he faces Namjoon who is sitting across his desk.

  


Namjoon sit quietly at first, thinking of the right way to express his thoughts. Seokjin didn't push him out though, waiting for the man to speak. 

  


Yes, it's been a week since they found out that Yoongi is a little- either big Yoongi like it or not, his little self keep on coming out. Thank God for the acceptance of his members, he's quite okay with being little. 

  


But Namjoon.

  


He aren't like the cliche people who dislike little and lashing out at them or commenting negative words to make them feel down or insecure. That's not him. 

  


Still, he can't get rid of that weird feeling although Yoongi has been a little in front of him. He didn't show his discomfort though, something he already mastered after being a leader for almost six years. 

  


Yes, he's a leader and he always solving problems by his own but for this case, he can't. He needs the eldest to give him advice or maybe knock the sense out of him.

  


He takes a deep breath and sigh. Opening his eyes, he look at Seokjin who is patiently waiting for him to talk with a calm demeanor.

  


"Yoongi," Namjoon started. "What's with him?" Seokjin then ask.

  


"Since he's showing up as little, I can't get rid of the weird feeling I have right now. I'm not hating him for choosing little as his way to distressed, I just find it weird and I don't know, disgust? Yoongi is the eldest I respect, the person I look up too but, I can't help but feel that way.. am I bad, hyung?" Namjoon feel like the stone on both of his shoulders finally lift out and thrown far away from him making him feeling relief for the first time.

  


He thought Seokjin will lash out at him for his words. He thought the eldest will look at him in pure disgust. 

  


But all he saw was the never change expression from the eldest, calm and content. 

  


Seokjin sigh before started speaking. "I know what you mean... and no. You're not a bad person, Namjoon. I'm proud of you for that brave attempt to tell me what you have been feeling this whole time. I'm not mad at you for thinking like that about our Yoongi," Seokjin then add, "You just need some time to adjust to get this thing on you. Not all people know about this topic Namjoon, and there is a reason why some little scared to show themselves in public in fear of getting judges," Namjoon nod but still keep his mouth shut, letting the eldest to continue.

  


"At least you're not that kind of people, do you?" Seokjin are satisfied with Namjoon answer. He knows their leader is a wise man, he knows he can solve it out. 

  


"Do you hate Yoongi after knowing him as a little?" Seokjin finally utter a question he's been wanting to ask. 

  


Namjoon was surprised and didn't even hesitate to answer, "Why would I, hyung? I love Yoongi so much, he's my friends for eight years and I adore him so much. How could you ask that question?" Namjoon scowl like the question is a taboo thing that shouldn't be asked.

  


"Just testing you, Namjoon. I'm glad to hear that," Seokjin said as he sighed in relief. 

  


They both stay silent while Namjoon mind wandered to many thoughts. 

  


Yes, time is what he needs to accept this whole new ordeal. He will figure things out anyway, sooner or later. 

  


"Will Yoongi hate me for this, hyung?" Namjoon asked feeling guilty again. What if- 

  


"No, he won't. Even if he misunderstand this, I will explain it to him. Yoongi will understand, I'm sure of it," Seokjin assure the leader, pulling his hand on his, squeezing it softly.

  


Namjoon was calmed by now. It such a relief now that he finally talk it off. He gave the eldest a gratitude smile in which the 3eldest return back with the same smile.

  


"Let's go to the living room and see our Yoongi. I bet he's having fun with our maknae and Hoseok," Seokjin break the sentimental moment, stretching his arms high above his head while yawning.

  


"Haha... I bet Yoongi makes them get restless with his never-ending energetic mood," Namjoon add as he follows the eldest out of the room.

  


Seokjin sit next to a concentrated Yoongi who is colouring as he pecked his forehead and talk to the little. Namjoon watches from afar and with the excuse of making song, he went to his in-house studio.

  


Hoseok glance at Seokjin about their leader but the eldest only shook his head while mouthing, "he'll be fine," and Hoseok nod, watching Yoongi with fond smile as Yoongi talk about a colour he chooses and the reason of it.

  


Seokjin believe, everything will be fine. Namjoon will eventually accepting Yoongi, and he nurtured the eldest, he is sure of it. 

  


~

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **showing the side of Namjoon that we want to know. 


	13. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bad producer trying to pick on Yoongi. Luckily Namjoon and Hoseok there to save the day..

The day went by just like that. 

Namjoon is still a bit reluctant when he's around little Yoongi but he never scream out negative words at Yoongi. He is still processing to accept the new life they currently having.

It's unfortunately a meeting day where Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok- the main producer of BTS- along with other producer staffs and manager are having.

Yoongi is in a normal headspace, which fortunate for the two remaining rapper as- although Namjoon is still reluctant- it's upsetting when seeing the little sad face if they asked him to be big for some event- it happened in the past few months. 

Yoongi's panic attack almost resurfaced but he control it by doing a breathing technique his old therapist once teaches him. Namjoon side glance the eldest to seem his leg constantly shaking and his fingers keep on drumming the armrest of the chair while biting his nails- a habit of early panic anxiety.

Namjoon feel how his heart broken in pieces when the eldest jump from the time he grip Yoongi shaking hands. It's only them and their manager which is a relief before Namjoon pulling away the injured thumb from his teeth. 

Namjoon put a small smile when Yoongi look at him with the innocent eyes- the anxiety are written in his eyes as he faces the leader. "Everything will be okay, hyung~" Namjoon cooed as he squished his hand on the armrest. 

Yoongi nod before standing up with a supportive arms on his waist when the CEO and other company's producers entering the meeting room. 

He sits back with the help of the leader, again. He gave a quick nod to the leader as a sense of gratitude before focusing on Bang Pd speech. 

Namjoon still holding his left hands tight under the table- to Yoongi's big relief- as he focused on some talk from the producer, giving advice and plan whatnot.

His breathing hitch when the company producers along with the CEO focused on him. 

He didn't hear the question.

"When will the songs done, Yoongi? You've been delaying the songs for almost a week. Don't you want a comeback?" Namjoon still holding his hand despite his already clammy hands full of sweat. 

If he listened closely, he will hear Hoseok unsatisfied grumbled under his breath upon hearing one of the producer's questions- the producer that he, Namjoon and Yoongi don't like. 

"I will get it done by this week, sir.." Yoongi praised himself for not stuttering in front of his youngsters and the others inside the meeting room. He averted his gaze on his lap when he notices the producer smirk from across him. 

It's known for the others and Yoongi that the producer had a major disliking on him. 

"It's okay, Yoongi. Just take your time. Your comeback date aren't around the corner yet," Bang Pd give a smile to the obviously nervous boy before changing his question to the leader. 

Yoongi internally relief when for about an hour later, no question was about him. After bowing to the CEO and the others as they walk out before them, Yoongi breaks down on Namjoon.

Obviously, the stress, nervous and panic anxiety coming together on one go making him break down instead of lashing around. 

Namjoon are panic and side glance Hoseok beside him for help. He pulled the guy on his chest, swaying him and shushing him with warm words and comfort. Namjoon is worried with the slight shaking from the glued boy on his chest before chimes, "You're doing great, little boy~ Me and Hobie is proud of you~" 

"But I'm a loser. I can't finish the songs that I work~" he mutters with every hiccup on each word as he continues with his crying fit. Hoseok watched and share a sad glance with Namjoon before cooing at the upset boy, "We know you can do it, baby. Me and Namjoon have faith for you. Don't listen to whatever people said about you. You are not a loser, darling~"

They stay for at least thirty minutes before a soft snores filled the room which relief the two as they visibly relax on their chairs. 

"I'll lift him up and let us all go back to the dorm," Namjoon said before he lifted the boy on his back with the help of Hoseok. 

~

"Okay, what happened?" Seokjin asked after he walked out from attending the sleeping Yoongi and sit across the two rappers. 

"Yunseok happened," Hoseok grit his teeth, his fists visibly forming a tight grip as he recalled the harsh question that thrown by the producer to Yoongi.

Seokjin sigh before asking, "what did he said to Yoongi now?" He really despise that man and wish for Bang Pd to fire him for being rude to one of the Big Hit artists. He will make that happen soon.

"He asked a question that aren't logic and so full of negatives. I'm almost a second to throw a fist on that ugly smirking. Like I don't see it just now," Hoseok scowl. He know Yoongi will let the words get to him- they already see that coming.

"I will do something. I will protect not only Yoongi but all of you, I've already swear as a leader to be a wings for your protection. I will talk about this issue with Bang Pd tomorrow," Namjoon said with confidence.

Seokjin sigh before adding, "I will come with you too. Bang Pd won't say no when it's me," the eldest shrug before excused himself to check on Yoongi, leaving the still fuming Hoseok and Namjoon at the living room.

There's a long silent before Hoseok sigh and faces the leader, "Are you still need time to accept little Yoongi?" Namjoon froze before quickly changed his demeanor to calm. Then, a smile forming on his face which confuses the dancer.

"You can say I'm almost in the accepting. I just need to be in a hundred percent mode where my mind is officially okay with it. FYI, I never said I hate little space~" Namjoon coo on the last word, purposely teasing the eldest who is pretending to gag at his use of abbreviation.

"It's sound weird when you used short form verbally when it's actually fine on text," Namjoon laugh and hugging the dancer who is soon smiling with the positive progress from the leader.

He know Namjoon will eventually come out okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***sorry guys. It's truly hard to think of ideas for a chapter. 
> 
> I hope you will enjoy this chapter..**


	14. 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maknae line didn't fully act like a caregiver and living Yoongi exploring by himself
> 
> \+ 
> 
> New nickname for a new caregiver

Seokjin shrieks looking at the mess around their living room until it reaches the hallway. 

Albeit what Yunseok pulled on him, he finished the songs without stress because Namjoon and Hoseok also besides him to help although he's determined to finish it all by himself, which he can't.

After three days of battle of his own and all was done, as soon as he stepped inside the dorm, he turned into a little. The maknae line being ascetic and excited after knowing Yoongi regressed as they plan many activities for the little.

Which result to now.

The eldest had to tiptoe around the small and big size of toys at the entrance door before standing upright beside the couch where Jimin smiling sheepishly while the other two maknaes and Yoongi aren't in sight.

"The kitchen~" Jimin pointed the kitchen before averted his gaze everywhere but Seokjin. The eldest hard stares actually scared him.

Seokjin sigh before command, "Clean this or no dinner for you," then stride off to the kitchen. The mess basically along the hallway to the kitchen as he had to avoid the toys with complain under his breath. 

As he walked closer to the kitchen door, he heard a happy giggles from the little but no sound of Jungkook or Taehyung are heard.

Looking inside the kitchen, his head almost exploded with the sight of mess around the room- flour on the floor and countertop, some peeled and small pieces of potato on either the bowl or on top of the countertop, knife left dangerously near the edge of it. 

Seokjin tiptoe slowly circling the countertop to see a Yoongi and he almost shout with the condition he is in- the baby blue onesie covered with white flour, he himself covered with flour too from head to toe and in between his tight a jar of sugar which Yoongi eaten by scooping it with his hands.

Yoongi gasp but smile after seeing the eldest at the back. It turned to a frown when he see the changes of the eldest face as it turns darker. Yoongi still offer the sugar but flinch when Seokjin dark gaze is on him.

Only then Yoongi realise where he was and as he looked at his surroundings, he knows he's actually makes the eldest mad. 

Unfortunately, he can't think of anything to change the space to normal. What a three year old supposed to do? He stares upward facing the eldest with the longest pout. 

Seokjin snapped from his evil demeanor when he saw the dangerous trembling of Yoongi lips before he crouched down. 

Yoongi crawl to the eldest, abandoning the jar before hugging the eldest.

"I'm not mad at you, gummy bear~" Seokjin cooed as he pulled the little on his lap as he ended up sitting on top of the covered floor.

Yoongi pull back and Seokjin witness the cutest thing- the teary eyes, nose pink and cheeks plum upward with pink hue coloured it plus pouty lips which is a bonus.

"Baby, where is Kookie and Taetae?" Seokjin asked with soft voice pulling a warm smile to the little although he can feel the fire burning inside him, every anger begging to be released.

"I 'on kno'.. leab baby 'ere.." Yoongi explain with seriousness to his main caregiver with the cutest pout displayed. 

"They leave you here?" Seokjin left eyes blinking as his ears redden. Yoongi didn't see the change of mood on the eldest as he nodded repeatedly.

"What's going on in here~" Hoseok voice trailed low at the end of his word after seeing Seokjin dark gaze on him. The rapper gulp and almost shrieks in fear when the eldest abruptly standing with the little on his hip. 

Hoseok sweat forming as the eldest slowly walk to him. "Would you like Hobi to bathe you, baby?" And received an excited 'yes' from the little before they exchange. He watched as the gaze changes after averted his eyes to him before striding to the second floor of their house.

Seokjin isn't angry. He gone furious.

Hoseok gulp before averted his eyes to the little who is busy licking his sticky palm. He grimaced slightly before bouncing the little and bringing him to the bathroom.

He turned blind eyes after seeing the kitchen that turned into a mess as he strode off to the opposite way.

~

The maknae line got their punishment- cleaning the living room, the hallway and the kitchen plus no playing games for a week- and they sit with guilty look as the look at their full plates.

Yoongi is oblivious to the tense air surrounding him as he excitedly munching the mashed potato in the highchair. 

It's a wonder to see the earlier monster Seokjin being softy to the little, making airplane and train sounds while feeding the baby with a soft smile plastered but when he changes his gaze to them, they shiver in fear and changes their focus to their food to avoid another outburst from the still furious Seokjin.

"Daddy, can I sweep wit Papa?" Seokjin and the others almost choked on their food after hearing another nickname thrown by the little. 

Seokjin gulp the water before asking, "Who is Papa, baby?" 

They all gasp when the little point to that member.

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **who could be Yoongi's Papa?
> 
> Any guesses?**


	15. 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon being an ass
> 
> +
> 
> 94z argument...

"Papa?" Yoongi said with confused face while pointing at him.

"What? Me?" The said person said with bewildered while pointed to himself as his eyes looking at the members and the little faces one by one with his eyes widen.

It was quiet before a roar of cheers and laughter from the others aside from Yoongi and Namjoon.

"Appa, too loud," Jimin stopped his cheering as he gasped with the news nickname he get from the little. He looks at Yoongi with big round eyes and mouth wide open. 

Yoongi look at him with big doe eyes before changing his gaze to his daddy who is by now also joining the cheering. "Daddy, ahh~" Yoongi point to his opened mouth as he tug on the eldest sleeves. 

"I'm sorry, baby~ Aah~" Seokjin scooped the mash potato to the little who is now content with the food inside his mouth. 

"Hey, we have a bigger issue now~" Namjoon tapped his fingers as the other except Yoongi facing him. "What's the issue now, Namjoon? You're Papa, don't you feel happy?" Seokjin sigh before avert his attention to the content little who is playing with his kumamon plush. 

"I'm an Appa?" Jimin said dreamily while pointing at himself, his food long forgotten. He then changes his gaze to the eldest before it trail to Hoseok besides him. "I'm an Appa," before gasping loudly and his blank faces change into a crescent smile his eyes can't be seen. 

"Yoongi, I'm so happy~" Jimin pull him into a tight hug making the little scrunched his nose and whining in discomfort before complaining after when Jimin kisses his cheeks. "Appa, 'top.. Appa~ Daddy~ look Appa... help~" Jimin cooed despite the little complained before release him with a long kiss on his cheek. 

Yoongi glare at the younger before whipping his cheek and complaining, "eww,". Jimin only smiling as he lifted his left eyebrow and smirk at the two younger. Jungkook groan with the teasing while Taehyung just pouting- he want to be Yoongi's main caregiver too. 

Seokjin and Hoseok only shook their head before focused on the little on the highchair. 

"I can't accept this," Seokjin whipped his head quickly to the leader and the table quickly turned into a creepy silent. No one said anything, so do the little.

"What do you mean, Joon?" He watches with bewildered when the leader abruptly stand up with half empty plate to the sink and dump it there without washing it. They watched he walked away without sparing anyone explanation. 

"Can I sweep wit Papa, Daddy?" The question. 

Seokjin averted his gaze back to the little with a sad smile before making an excused, "Your Papa is tired, baby. You sleep with Daddy tonight, okay?" Seokjin blink the tears away as he brushed Yoongi soft hair. 

Yoongi only pout but nevertheless believing the lie as he nod at the caregiver words. 

Seokjin smile changes as he averted his eyes to the others who also have similar expression as him. Hoseok glance a the empty seat at the edge of the table before sighing and rubbing his already aching head.

"Yoonie wanna sleep with Appa?" Jimin asked, mainly to changes the topic before the little getting more upset. 

Yoongi gleam with the idea as he looks at his Appa with the brightest smile. "Wan sweep wit Appa~" Jimin cooed as he kissed the cheeks which being wiped by Yoongi with disgust faces as he sent glare to his caregiver.

Yoongi then pull a puppy eyes to his main caregiver. Seokjin only smile and nod at him before saying, "Don't make Appa life harder, okay? And be a good boy for Appa.. make Daddy proud, okay?" Yoongi nod his head. He is sure going to make his daddy proud. He will prove it.

"Yoonie daddy good boy," Seokjin coo as he planted a kiss on his button nose before Yoongi wipe it too with the back of his hand. Yoongi scrunch his nose before opened his mouth with an 'Ahh' sound asking to be fed again.

Hoseok watch with fond smile before his mind going to the leader who's possibly locking himself at the studio- his studio. 

He so need to talk to Namjoon.

~

"Good night, baby boo~" Seokjin muttered as he plant a kiss on Yoongi forehead before nodding at Jimin and stepping out of Jimin and Hoseok's bedroom. 

He sighed before going to the opposite direction of his room situated, the studio. He's also get to the studio when he heard the loud shouting and sounds of things threw on the wall or floor. 

His rush to the door with worried. His hand almost at the handle before it was opened harshly from the inside the Hoseok angry expression storming out of the room without noticing the eldest. 

Seokjin only standing there with worried eyes before looking inside the studio which is now turning into a disaster with it condition now. Seokjin flinch when Namjoon suddenly throwing his keyboard on the wall with an angry shout coming out of him. 

Seokjin can only stare with mix feeling- worried and fear. He never see the 94 members being violent for almost eight years they're together. This is the first time he saw the two arguing. 

"What are you doing here?" Namjoon harsh voice making him flinch on the wall he's leaning as he face the darken eyes of the leader. 

"I-" Seokjin is actually scared. He never see the leader being this scary. 

"If you're coming here to talk about 'how rude I am for rejecting Yoongi', then stop. It pisses me off," Namjoon exclaimed with anger fueled his chest.

"Nam-" "Wanna hear my honest thought, huh?" Seokjin whimpered in fear when the grip on his shoulder becoming tighter and painful as Namjoon forced him to look at his eyes. "I hate that nickname and I hate Yoongi. I am sick of seeing his face and I don't want to get close to him. Don't make me gone violent on him, Seokjin~" the venom from Namjoon words hitting the eldest hard as he whimpered with the thought of the leader actually hurting Yoongi.

He's not weak for God sake but why...

"Don't hurt Seokjin hyung. You can hate me all you want but don't hurt hyung. Let him go,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Namjoon, why do you have to be like that?
> 
> What happened to Namjoon that makes him turned violent? 😕
> 
> That's for you guys to guess and for me to make a surprise~
> 
> Hihihihihihihi~**


	16. 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Namjoon action causing hoseok to find a way to solve the problem...
> 
> +
> 
> Flashback of 94z argument..

~

A senile smile on the leader's face as he abruptly pulling his hands away from the eldest arms. Seokjin move a step away from the scary leader as he consciously rubbing his painful shoulders.

Yoongi hate of being vulnerable in front of the now monster Namjoon. Although he put a stone face but the shaking of his body and the reflection of sadness and betrayal are there making Seokjin upset and guilty. 

Namjoon only glance at the two slightly before storming off from them while harshly nugged Yoongi's bicep. As the steps getting further from him, his legs give up and if not for the eldest hands, he might slip down on the floor. 

He is draining of energy and strength.

"That's why I hate the idea of out it, hyung~" Seokjin only sobbing as he hears the helpless voice of Yoongi with his body still shaking. 

Seokjin can only muttered "sorry, Yoongi," multiple times as he hugged the already crying Yoongi to his chest. 

How could Namjoon~

~

It's obvious that the group in an intense situation- the staff also affected by it and when they are around them, it feels like they need to be careful with their words or action because the slightly wrong action can anger them- Namjoon.

Yoongi haven't being in a little space for three months. The once safe headspace becoming something he scared of. Namjoon warning, although it not directly to him still scared him remembering what he once did to him when he didn't hear his words. 

He didn't sit close to the leader or be around him too, remember the warning of hurting him if he do so. He can't look at the leaders straight in the eyes when they need to discuss a topic of work- the only time he can only get close to the leader, business purpose.

The thing Namjoon did to the eldest also giving a huge impact to him. Whenever Hoseok put a hand on his shoulder, he will either flinch or scoot away. Yoongi hate Namjoon for making the once brave eldest being scared and always in fear- trauma as what Yoongi can read because he too was in the same situation as Seokjin.

Jimin is on edge.

He tries to get things like normal but he only get a dark scowl from the leader or sigh from the others who's still sane. Everything happened only for a day- three months ago and it changes them completely. 

They can only solve this by gathering together, like they normally do when there's conflict happened. Hoseok too agree of the young dancer thought as he can feel the swelling of his heart with two of his members on edge expressions and the leader who seems to be getting angry and tempered as time goes by.

They are the only sane one in the group and they will do anything to make things turn back just like before.

~

Like it or not, Hoseok had to get Namjoon away from the studio. He chose today's date, Friday to discuss and settle things up before it getting worse and end up losing their members sanity. 

This is really unhealthy. The situation they have is totally affected them. Things need to be done. 

He grimaced slightly with the affect the leader gave to a now traumatized members. He frown when remembering the big argument he had with Namjoon- the biggest and loudest arguments he and Namjoon ever had. 

He also reluctant to call him but knowing the ups and downs of mood of Namjoon, he prevent the three maknaes to get too close to the leader or else they might end up like the two members.

At least he's strong mentally and physically. 

~

"Namjoon, what the fuck?" Hoseok exploded as soon as he stepped into the leader's studio. He's fuming inside and it's show on his face as he stand tall with both hands on his waist. 

Namjoon can't deal with another sounds as he massaged his temples. "Get out, hyung. I need to finish this song," he mutters as he never changes his gaze on the blinking screen. 

"Then when? When is the right time? Can you At least act mature with that IQ? I can't tolerate that attitude, Namjoon and I need an explanation," Hoseok said as he pulled the leader away from the computer, putting his hands on the armrest and giving Namjoon a sharp gaze. 

Namjoon seems unfazed as he rolled his eyes and slapped away the rapper hands before rolling the chair facing the screen again.

Hoseok was awestruck, his mouth gap open as he watches the sudden mood of Namjoon that are showing. 

"What happened to the leader I know before? You said you didn't hate little Yoongi anymore. I can see that loving eyes on yours when you caress Yoongi's cheek. I thought you love him, open up already with the idea of Yoongi-"

"Will you fucking shut up, Hoseok?" Hoseok flinch at the sudden outburst of the leader and gasp when Namjoon suddenly throwing the small speaker to Hoseok. 

"Get out!" Hoseok snort as his position didn't change at all since he came in. He's even more shocked by the lack of formality Namjoon got to him and he hates it.

"You think you're that superior, huh? You think you're only the smartass here, huh? Guess what, you are the most stupidest, a fool and actually an IQ of 50 and I bet you fake it because this is not an IQ of 148 react fucking dumb," Hoseok voice increasing as he shout at Namjoon, his fist turned into a tighten ball as he watched the smug look on the leader. 

He won't used violent if it aren't necessary.

"Remember Hoseok, without me, you won't be here. You aren't a great rapper too," Namjoon smirk before going to face the screen again. 

"Fuck you," before Namjoon can react, a fist landed on his face making him stumbled backward and fall down from the chair. Hoseok already red with anger written on his face as he give Namjoon his precious fist. 

And the fight scene happened.

~

Hoseok grimace and pray that tonight meeting won't end up with blood, sweat and tears.

He takes a deep breath before knocking on the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A flashback for you.. and the reason why Hoseok and Namjoon being violent before Seokjin went to Namjoon.
> 
> Do you think the meeting aka discussion turn great? Will Hoseok finally knock the sense out of Namjoon? 
> 
> And the most important question, will Yoongi ever going to his safe space and the group turning back to normal?**


	17. 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seokjin having an episode 
> 
> \+ 
> 
> Yoongi insecurities.. luckily Hoseok always by his side.

Yoongi bite his thumb while squeezing Seokjin's hand repeatedly to find comfort. The nervous can't be explained just by talking but by the sight of it- him keeping on biting his thumb, his legs shaking and the sudden need of skin contact, he indeed nervous.

With the stress that building up in him and the nervousness of seeing Namjoon after not seeing him for almost three months took a toll on his hormone. He's suddenly feel sick but he endure it to prevent chaos. 

"What's taking Hoseok hyung this long just to get RM leader?" Jimin complain as he keeps on looking at the hallway where Hoseok disappeared after saying to get the leader, ten minutes ago. 

Seokjin can only imagining the worse just like the last time he watched the two. He almost made Yoongi jump from surprise of his sudden stand up. "What if they- they are fighting~ go get them,"

Yoongi pulled the eldest back to his side and calm him by hugging him tightly while Seokjin keep on blabbering about 'death' and 'fight'. It broke his heart to see the eldest this way- too broken and fragile. 

That's when he decided that it was indeed his fault. If he didn't be too careless, Seokjin won't find his secret and thus no argument. 

His thoughts running wild while trying to comfort Seokjin. 

~

Hoseok can only sigh when he saw the empty studio on his sight. It showed that the leader haven't step his feet in here because of the broken things inside it, just like the last three months. 

He turned around and walked out of the studio before going to the living room. He rushes to Seokjin and Yoongi after seeing the panic and worried look of the maknae lines. 

"We need to- there's blood- Namjoon and Hoseok-" Seokjin blabber and he find it weird to see his brothers didn't even take any action of what he's trying to tell. His panicked arise and he try to pull away from Yoongi strong grip but little did he know, he is too weak to fight for it. 

His eyes blurry with tears and he almost flinch back thinking it was Namjoon when he feel the touch on his hands. It didn't calm his nerve.

"Hyung, it's Hoseok. I'm here hyung. I'm fine. Follow my breathing hyung. Follow my instruction. We're fine, we're fine.. you're okay~" Seokjin almost crying when he heard Hoseok voice. He tried to follow the youngest voice. 

Breath in. Breath out. 

After more chokes and trying his best to control his breathing, he can finally feel himself coming back to reality as he blinked away the tears in his eyes.

Seokjin almost whimper when he see the smile on Hoseok face and he's still fine and the most important thing, no second fight happened.

"Let's put you in bed. Yoongi hyung, help me," Yoongi didn't say anything as he wrapped his arm on Seokjin waist while Hoseok at the opposite side. 

Seokjin let his two brothers manhandled him and he only obliged without saying anything as he let them secured his blanket to his chest. His anxiety episode really makes him tired as he let his mind drift away into the darkness.

"Where's Namjoon?" Yoongi asked Hoseok after they are out of Seokjin room. 

Hoseok sigh before replying, "He's not in his room. I don't know where is he either," Hoseok groan as he cover his face.

"I'm sorry," Hoseok pull away from his covered hands and look at the eldest with 'what-do-you-mean' look. 

"Because of me. If I just let the secret stay a secret, this won't happen. Namjoon won't be like that, Seokjin won't be that scared. I- I should just death or-" Hoseok brought him to his chest as he shushed him when his sobbing becoming louder.

"Don't ever said the 'd' word, Yoongi. Never. It's not your fault Yoongi, it's not. Shush~ Nor me and the others blame you for what's been happening. It just happened. Even if you're not a little or someone else out as a little, it won't be your fault and it is still going to happen no matter what~" Yoongi can only crying more after hearing Hoseok words. 

Hoseok blink the tears from falling as he hugged Yoongi tighter and comfort him with his best effort. They stay like that until Yoongi falling asleep after tired himself from crying.

Pulling the blanket to his shoulder, Hoseok peck his forehead before muttering 'good night' as he let the nightstand lighten. 

He feel like a zombie. He looks at his roommate who is already in deep sleep before he went to his own bed. 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sneak peak of what comes next on another chapter-
> 
> "I hate you," Yoongi chimed with hatred feel him as he glares at the leader. He can't believe how cruel Namjoon is.
> 
> "Don't underestimate me, Yoongi. You know I'm capable of doing anything, don't you?" Namjoon smirk only disgust Yoongi more as he-
> 
> Okay that's all. Aspect something for the next chapter.
> 
> What do you think of the sneak peak?**


	18. 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon and Yoongi talked about the incident that happened before and the shocking truth of why Namjoon was an ass...

They were practicing without uttering any words, just following the music and the beat of the choreography. 

"Rest for five minutes," Hoseok said as they dropped on the dance floor. Sweats and sounds of harsh breathing are what can be heard inside the room.

Yoongi slowly scooted to Seokjin when Namjoon suddenly went to him and standing tall in front of him. He didn't hear nor see Namjoon hurt face when he obviously trying to run away from him. 

"I need your help for the song. Meet me at my studio later, Yoongi after practice," Yoongi nod and he only look at the shoes going farther from his area before he sighed.

He averted his gaze to the eldest who is now full with worried. He can see the protest from Seokjin eyes, preventing him from staying alone with Namjoon. Yoongi only pull a smile and squeeze his hands to ensure him that he will be alright.

Which is true.

Hoseok then call them for another practice before finally settled for today. Yoongi sigh and only wave off the others when they saw him still standing in the middle of the room without any thought of going home.

"Yoongi?" Seokjin asked as he walked to Yoongi. 

"I'm going to Namjoon later, remember?" Yoongi recalled and pull a small smile to comfort the eldest who is now worrying about his safety. 

"I don't trust Namjoon. What if he hurts you?" Yoongi only sigh before patting Seokjin hands. "I will be fine. He won't do such a thing, hyung I guarantee."

Seokjin is unsure but after being talked to by Yoongi and seeing his face, he can only nod before pushing, "if something happens, remember to call me. Got it, Yoongi? Call me," Yoongi nod and ushered him out. 

After switching off the electricity and locked the door, with a heavy heart he walked to Namjoon's studio. Along the long and quite dark hallway, he can't help but to think of the reason Namjoon need him. 

They are still in contact and it will always about song production or exchanging ideas for their album but never for once alone with Namjoon. Hoseok will be with them all the time. 

He shrugged the thought off and can only think maybe Namjoon did tell Hoseok. He just didn't see their interaction as he was too busy averting his gaze to anywhere but Namjoon. 

Standing on the leader's door can't make his thumping heart to calm down. In fact, it makes him getting more nervous as he tried to control his breathing.

After knocking three times, he got an approval to come inside from the leader as he opened the door with shaky hands. The sight of Namjoon facing away from him also can't makes his heart to calm down. It's either the fear of confronting Namjoon or the anxiety that almost arises.

He shrugged off his practise bag on the couch before slowly going to where Namjoon is currently sitting. 

"Here," Namjoon stood from his seat and ushered Yoongi to sit on it before plugging the headphone on both of the eldest ear. Yoongi didn't have time to protest before music flowing to his ears. 

It was so beautiful it made Yoongi almost in tears with how great the outcome of Namjoon's song production is. As the song ended, he unplugged the device and look up to where Namjoon is leaning before muttering, "It sounds great, Namjoon~" 

For a moment, the two forget of the fight they have three months ago. They're an unspoken thought that are showing on Namjoon as he stared at the dark brown eyes.

"Thanks for the compliment, Yoongi. I just wanna ask, will it be great to be put inside our next album?" 

"Yes. This is so great, Namjoon and it will be in waste if you didn't let ARMY to hear it," Yoongi pull the brightest smile to Namjoon before changing to a thin line and averted his gaze to the speaker. 

He's too comfortable with Namjoon when the leader actually hate him.

He heard Namjoon sighing before his stepped getting further from him. He glanced up to see Namjoon pulling an extra chair to him and sit on it before facing the eldest.

"Ask me," Namjoon said after the silence is unbearable. Yoongi was confused as he asked back, "ask you of what?"

"Why I hate to be your 'Papa'," Yoongi snort before answering, "Isn't it obvious? You hate little Yoongi," 

Namjoon chuckles at the answer before declining, "There's more than that, baby." Yoongi almost choked on his own saliva hearing the nickname coming out of the leader's mouth.

"Why Seokjin?" Yoongi turned to him with a frown shown. His lips forming into a pout as he shook his head, "I don't know where this is going."

Namjoon stare blankly on the already blacked screen before looking at the eldest. Yoongi gulp with the sharp look on the leader but never changes his 'strong' look. 

"Why 'Papa'? Why not 'Daddy'?" Namjoon question still confused the eldest as he stared at him with blank face. 

Namjoon take a deep breath and sigh before started, "I'm jealous of Seokjin," Yoongi snort before muttering, "What the fuck?" 

Namjoon grimace at Yoongi choice of words before adding, "I'm jealous because you trust Seokjin more than me, your best friend of eight years. Shouldn't it be me?" 

Yoongi still don't get- 

Ohh...

"But, little Yoongi also claimed you as his caregiver but why-" Yoongi words cut off by Namjoon, "because it should be 'Daddy' not 'Papa'. Although I know that nickname also meant I'm your caregiver, it won't be the same as Seokjin title as your main caregiver," Yoongi want to interrupted but closed his mouth when he saw Namjoon opening his mouth again.

"I like you" Yoongi feel his heart stop beating after hearing Namjoon brave confession. No, that's too over. He feels his heart beating quickly as he saw Namjoon face. 

"What - I don't-" he pulled his lips into a thin line when Namjoon speak again, "I'm jealous when you called Seokjin 'daddy'. It sounds like you're dating him and I hate to feel this way toward you both- jealous and an urge to have you only and get rid of Seokjin."

What sorcery is this? Yoongi thought before he gulped again when Namjoon's face closed to him. "You-you haven't asking m-me yet either I like you or-or not," Yoongi cursed internal with his stuttering and he had the urge to punch Namjoon face as he saw him smirking at him.

"I can see it in your eyes, Yoongi that you like me," Namjoon never break the eye contact as he keeps on looking Yoongi chapped lips that look so delicious he wish he can taste it. He unconsciously licked his own lips when he thinks about it. 

Yoongi gulp more when he saw Namjoon eyes keep going back and forth to his eyes and lips. "You- what if I'm straight-" 

"You've confessed about being bisexual not too long ago so don't change the subject," Namjoon love to see Yoongi flustered face, only for him to see. 

Maybe he's too possessive but he can't let anyone get Yoongi. Is he sick? 

Yoongi break the gaze before scooted away from the leader. He sighed before muttered, "let me think about it, Namjoon," he thought he will get pushed by the leader or getting a punch or two from him knowing about his temper. 

"Okay... and I'm sorry," the confession getting Yoongi interest. "Making it like I hate little you... fighting with Hoseok, making Seokjin traumatize.... and making the group worried," Yoongi faces soften as he scooted closer to the leader. 

"Hoseok said about me being an IQ of 50 might be true tho. I shouldn't let something like this affected our group, I know that now." Sad chuckling forming as Namjoon gaze at Yoongi. 

"Where have you been? Yesterday, we were supposed to have a meeting.. where are you?" 

"I'm scared to face you guys," tears already forming on his eyes as broken chuckles forming. "I showed them the other me...the me who changed into a monster," Yoongi also affected by Namjoon tempered and it's a lie if he said he's becoming fine when he's not. 

Seeing Namjoon broken sight breaks his heart as he let Namjoon sobbing on his chest, ignoring the tears sticking and wetting his white shirt. No words exchanged, mainly because Yoongi aren't a fan of comforting someone with words. He doesn't know how to.

"You can apologise to them later, you know? They will understand and no way the boys hate you if you come clean," Yoongi advised after Namjoon finally calmed. 

"As long as you're beside me," Yoongi only nod as he cupped Namjoon faces and wipe the remnants tears on his cheeks. 

Namjoon simply pecked his lips when he's getting too close to him. Yoongi grimace before pulled off, "you-" Namjoon only laughed before running away from the eldest. Yoongi wipe his lips before chasing the leader who's is now teasing him while running out of the studio. 

Little did the both know, everything's aren't getting better. It's getting out of control that none of them expecting it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **oops... the sneak peak of that chapter that I promised (read it at chapter 17) aren't in here... 
> 
> Wait for it... 
> 
> Oh, still waiting for another fluffs or another angst?**


	19. 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seokjin makes Namjoon wake up with his great explanation.

"Wait, let me rephrase that. You're jealous of me- being called 'Daddy' by Yoongi- no- little Yoongi... You sounds like a pedophile, dude," Seokjin exclaimed as the leader nods in agreement.

"That's what it was, hyung- I'm sorry~ I don't know what even happened to me that makes me switched and- huh... it's just happened.. I know I hurt you mentally and I'm deeply apologised for it," Namjoon bite his lower lip while waiting for the eldest respond. 

"Isn't it a great thing that I'm his main caregiver when Yoongi is a little?" Seokjin said after rethinking his words. 

"What do you mean, hyung?" Namjoon asked with pure frustration and confused in him as he looked at the eldest eyes. "What do you mean 'what do I mean'? Isn't what happened before a proof?" 

Namjoon wanted to counterattack but he know he will lose at Seokjin. He admitted that his past behaviour aren't that great- his temper, his sudden tantrum and his sudden showing of pure hatred to Yoongi. 

"Doesn't mean he called me 'daddy' in his headspace meant I will date him or he will date me, Namjoon. You can't simply asked him to change the nickname because that's what little Yoongi decided, not big Yoongi decision.

Won't you feel happy, or proud he called you 'Papa' in little spaces? That just showed you how much trust he has toward you. Little Yoongi and Big Yoongi are two different things. He's innocent and act like a child when he's in his headspace but a devil when he's in his normal state.

You said you like him yet you show hatred toward Yoongi. How will a normal minded person like him, being hurt by his one trusted best friend, to accept the one who's hurt him when he needed him the most?" Seokjin finish with a sigh.

It's struck him deep. 

Namjoon fist his hair before release it with a sigh. He looks at the eldest before muttering, "thank you, hyung. I need that wake up or else I'm still in a daze and never know what I've been done wrong," 

"And thank you for being a caring brothers and caregiver to Yoongi. It means a lot, hyung," Seokjin only smile at his leader's word before teasing, "Then be a man. Make a move on that feisty boy," Namjoon never feel so overwhelmed yet shy with the eldest statement as he smiles sheepishly.

~

"I forgive you, bro~" Hoseok exclaimed as he bro-hug Namjoon and pat each other's backs before pulling away from the sentimental hug. 

"For a millionth times, I'm sorry for my stupid mouth. You are one of BTS germs and will remain the same until forever," Hoseok smile at Namjoon words before going to Yoongi side and teasing him.

Namjoon sigh before going to the chair across the mirror, drinking the mineral water from the bottle before recap it and putting it under his feet. 

His eyes stopped at the annoyed Yoongi who is glaring at Hoseok for disturbing his sleep. He sighed when remembering his confession that are unanswered. He want the answer now but he knows not to forced Yoongi. 

Yoongi keep on ignoring him too and that makes his life hard. How is he supposed to make a move when he tries to approach Yoongi, he will always have excuses- Bang Pd called him, Seokjin need his help bla, bla, bla. It slightly piss him off. 

Not only that, his twisted mind keep on whispering at him. The dark thought running inside his mind recently, especially when his eyes accidentally stopped at Yoongi and Seokjin. 

He knows Seokjin won't lie at him nor betrayed him after knowing his secret. What made him on fire is when Jimin being touchy feely with Yoongi and his hand will just landed on Yoongi's tight and almost closer to his sensitive area. 

His dark thought want him to dragged Yoongi away from Jimin and locked him inside his studio or punched Jimin and warned him for touching what is his but his rational mind keep on advising him to not do anything as Yoongi still isn't his.

~

"Hyung, please~" Jungkook pleaded but the eldest ignored his words making a long pout showing on his face. No one can ignore the maknae. 

"Hyung~" Yoongi only sigh before muttering, "I can't, Jungkook. Because of that, our group almost tearing apart- or you're actually want that to happen?" Yoongi snorted before going back to his notebook.

Jungkook kind of upset with what happened to them before. Although Namjoon already saying his apologised and giving them explanation, it still aren't the same, to Jungkook at least.

He miss little Yoongi and Big Yoongi.

"Hyung~" he whine again before being shut down by Yoongi, "go to Seokjin hyung or I tell him you've been playing overwatch till midnight," Jungkook grumbled before purposefully stomping his feet as he walks away from the eldest.

Yoongi sigh before massaging his throbbing head. Not that he didn't want to, but Namjoon warning a long time ago can't seem to move out of his mind, making him forget it- his thought.

Then there's Namjoon confession. He successfully avoiding Namjoon, so far but until when. He just scared of Namjoon reaction if he said 'No'.

He aren't rejecting him, he just can't accepted Namjoon for the time being. He's forgiving Namjoon- yes- but he can't forget the thinks he said that makes him reluctant to accept the leader.

After making his head in more pain, he then decides going to Seokjin is the best way as he  needs some good advice because Seokjin is a good adviser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want some special chapters, please visit my wattpad account, "fangirlyin98" because I won't post special chapter in this work..
> 
> Unless I made another for that special chapters..


	20. 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi asked some advises from Seokjin and he finally get the answer.

"You can just say 'no', you know," Seokjin said while cutting the potato in four dice pieces. He glanced at Yoongi while doing his work. 

Yoongi sigh as he put his left elbow and leaned his head on his palm while looking at the eldest with begging look. He can't take the headache any longer so he went to the eldest in the kitchen while they are having a day off. 

Seokjin sigh before putting the knife on top of the cutting board, wiping his hands on the apron before sitting beside Yoongi. "What's the problem?" 

"What if Namjoon aren't accepting it?" Seokjin scoff as he retorted, "Your feeling is your main priority, Yoongi. If he loves you, he will be fine with it Yoongi," 

Yoongi put his hands on the table before leaning on top of it with a sigh. "I don't know, hyung. I just scared to make mistakes and hurt his feelings," He sighed again.

"Let me ask you some questions," Seokjin leaned his back to the dining chair and crossed his arms on his chest. "Bet it cliche," Yoongi guess with a hint of disgust on his face.

"Yes and don't avoid it. This is for your own good," Seokjin huff a sigh before added, "Whenever you're with Namjoon, did your heart beating with good feeling or because of fear?" 

Yoongi shrug before his mind wander to when he's alone with Namjoon, three weeks ago. His heart indeed beating when Namjoon approached him or talking with him but all he feels is, scared.

Seokjin read Yoongi face before humming, "Your heart beating with fear," the eldest nod which shock the younger as he told his head to the eldest. 

"How do you-" Seokjin cut his talking, "You are readable, Yoongi. Now, the second question: Did you ever imagine yourself with Namjoon?" 

Yoongi nod. Seokjin hum before asking again, "What do you feel about the idea? Did it gives you weird feeling or nothing at all?" 

Yoongi thought before answering, "I did feel weird," Seokjin nod letting him continued, "but not a good weird," he muttered before staring at his lap.

Seokjin sigh and nod. He know- he is sure of what Yoongi want to explain as he didn't even ask back.

"You have your answer," Yoongi tilt his head with a questioning look as he stared at the eldest brown eyes. "It's alright to say 'no', that's what I've been saying since just now. If you want to try it out, I won't forbid you heck no one will do so but please, don't think about others' feelings before yours. 

You're not cruel or selfish if you rejected his feeling. You're not insulting him even unless you wish to do so," Yoongi small chuckle causing Jin to smile before he add again, "Your feeling is the most important thing, Yoongi. I believe Namjoon will understand you," 

Yoongi feel the weight on his shoulders lighten as he throws a sincere smile to the eldest. "Thank you, hyung. What can I do without you?" 

Seokjin shrug but smile plastered on his face before he went to the back of the kitchen counter and continued his work. While cutting the potato, he exclaimed, "actually Yoongi-ah, you can do something to return the favour," 

Yoongi had a confused face shown before it changes to a surprised look, "You can be little for me. Besides, Daddy miss his baby," Seokjin stare at the rapper on his eyes before winking his left eye. 

Yoongi gasp at the eldest word before he grab a banana on the table and throw it to the eldest which he successfully avoid with his famous laugh. Yoongi shake his head and walk away from the kitchen with the eldest loud laugh behind him and his red face.

"Yoongi- what happened to your face? Are you sick?" Hoseok rushed beside him and put his hand on top of the eldest which make the boy flinch. He swat away the hand from his forehead before muttering "I-I'm okay, Hoseok. It's just- haish~" 

Yoongi walk passed Hoseok leaving the sunshine in confusion. "Hyung~" Hoseok end up going to the kitchen- his first intention before Yoongi red face distracted him.

His confusion grew when he saw Seokjin never ending smile while throwing the potato on the pot. "What's wrong with you and Yoongi hyung?" He grabbed the bottle of cold water from the fridge before uncapped it and pour the water on his mouth.

"Nothing, Hoseok. Nothing~" Seokjin slurred before giving his focus on the boiling curry. Hoseok shrug before going out of the kitchen with the bottle in hand.

Seokjin clicked his tongue before he smiled back, "Just a plan to make Yoongi little again, Hoseok," he mutters at himself before stirling the curry.

~

After rethinking his answer, taking a deep breath and exhale it several times, he finally had the answer.

"You can do it, Yoongi. You're the swaggy Agust'd, nothing can fear you. Not Namjoon, not anyone~" he ends with a puff of short breathing before lifting his fist and knocked on the glass door. 

"Come in," 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **this getting nowhere...
> 
> How was it?**


	21. 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is happening...

It's midnight. 

All of the members are asleep except Yoongi. On the cold shower tile, he sat under the cold water without a single clothes on. He buckled his knee on his chest, letting his head leaning lazily on top of it. 

Small quiet sobs erupted and he had to muffle it with his knees to prevent the eldest from waking up- which he's seriously try to avoid for the night. 

He subconsciously rubbing his forearms too hard making it red and scratches it with his nails making some long lines on it- some are burning as blood trickled from the scars that were mixed to the clean water before it drained away.

"I hate you, Namjoon~" he muttered the word with every sob, every hiccup, playing it like a broken disc while subconsciously making scars and bruises.

His muffled sobs becoming too loud after his mind traveled to the unexpected, dark past previously happened- two hours ago.

His voice gradually increased as he punched the tile with his cold and trembling fist. He didn't care of whoever listening to him or worry about him as he kept on shouting on every sobs while punching the tile.

He hates Namjoon for what he did to him. 

He hates himself to let it simply happened. He hates that he can't protect himself. He feel disgusting.

~

"Hyung," Namjoon took off the headphones from his head and put it on top of the keyboard before gesturing Yoongi to sit on the couch. 

"Are you busy?" Yoongi asked with a small smile. He's nervous can anyone blame him? 

"Kinda, but I will save my work first if you want to discuss- whatever you want to discuss now~" Namjoon word trail to a slow pace as he looked at the eldest before he received a shake of the head from the eldest.

"It's not that important, Namjoon. You can finish your work first," Namjoon wrap his hand on his face before wiping the tiredness as he replied back, "I need a rest anyway. Don't worry about it, hyung~" 

Yoongi looked at the once destructed studio. It's slightly turned into normal where there's little normality and comfort in it. He internally smile with the thought.

He heard the couch next to her digging deeper before he whipped his head to face Namjoon. His nervousness coming again. 

"So~" Namjoon always a patient guy- although what happened before contradict to who he is now. It still makes Yoongi scared and anxious no matter how calm and clean the leader posture is.

He contemplated whether to tell the truth or gambled it. Yet, like Seokjin said, he will accept his answer no matter what, right? With a calm mind and his breathing technique he practiced, he started, "Well, Namjoon... first of all, you are a kind man~" 

Namjoon left eyebrow lifted with confusion but he didn't disturbed Yoongi. "Although a few months ago you're the epitome of madness," Namjoon slightly feeling guilty yet find it funny, the way the eldest said it.

"I know you like me," Namjoon nod- both for his feelings and to let Yoongi continued. "I wish I can't fake myself by saying that I like too but," Yoongi took a sharp breath before exhaled the answer, "I can't," 

"Why?" Yoongi sigh before replying, "because I'm still afraid of you," Yoongi aren't the type to throw flowery words- he is not that kind of man. He's the type to say his thoughts out loud. 

Namjoon was quiet but he's nodding, understanding Yoongi words. Yet, he can't stop his mouth from asking, "Does this involved Seokjin?" 

Yoongi eyebrow almost connected with how hard he frowns as he looks at Namjoon stares. "What does Seokjin had to do with this?" Namjoon hummed but his stares aren't with emotion anymore- Yoongi can feel the thrill from his eyes but he shrug it off.

"Seokjin had nothing to do with our situation, Namjoon. I'm just not ready for it, to have commitment," Yoongi mutter the last words as he averted his eyes to the wooden table across him.

"But if Jin asked you instead of me, you will say yes, don't you?" Yoongi mutter a small 'what' as he look at Namjoon. "Or when Jimin touches you, you will give in, don't you?" 

"What do you mean, Namjoon? You said you will accept whatever my answer is and now you're being like this," Yoongi stand up and move away from Namjoon before staring hard at him- disgust purely resurfaced around Yoongi.

Namjoon clicked his tongue before rolling it on his lips before his eyes bored on Yoongi's eyes. It's shocked Yoongi to see Namjoon rolling his eyes on him before he scowl. "You like it, huh? Being the attention of 6 members of Bangtan, including me?" 

Yoongi almost run away when Namjoon suddenly stood up and walking to him. As he stood closer to the eldest, Namjoon retorted, "I bet you like the attention? I guess Seokjin already tasted you, huh? A slut for Bangtan," 

Pak 

Yoongi right palm throbbing in pain while Namjoon placed his palm on his red cheeks, shocked at the sudden momentum before his face cracked to a smirk.

Yoongi breath halt and he whimpered when his wrist being tightly held by Namjoon. "Hurts~" Yoongi struggling as he tried to pull his wrist from the tight grip. 

Namjoon smirk and his hold loosen when Yoongi kneel his crouch as the eldest escaped. Yoongi shrieked when his right ankle being pull making him stumble and fall flat on the floor. 

"No~" he muttered before he kicked the hands on his ankle. He trashed and turn to be free- free from monster but a hard slap making him almost unconscious. 

"Oh, Yoongi. My Yoongi. Should cooperate before. Look what I did to that pretty face," dark chuckles broke from the man who's turning into a monster as he sit on top of Yoongi. 

"I hate you," Yoongi chimed in hatred filled him as he glares at the leader. He can't believe how cruel Namjoon is.

"Don't underestimate me, Yoongi. You know I'm capable of doing anything, don't you?" Namjoon smirk only disgust Yoongi more as he tried to move away from the tight grip. 

"This lips look delicious. Bet it feels delicious," Yoongi words and pleas of helps muffled as a lips for him. His stop were ignored by the leader as he wriggle from the younger death grip. 

His muffle of help turned into a muffled screams and shout as his body trembling with fear and anxiety and his eyes widen when Namjoon hand touches his crotch. 

"Let's have fun, little boy~"

~

Yoongi screamed as he cupped his hands on his ears before scooting backward until his back hit the wall. He didn't hear Seokjin shouts of worries or Jimin fast step of getting an extra keys to their bathroom door.

He is too broken, physically and mentally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I'm not a rape supporter. Don't put hate on me, it's just a Fanfic.
> 
> Who knows what Namjoon is actually suffering or what is actually his illness?
> 
> No matter who you are, boys or girls who are victims of rape, please remember, we are always here to pray for you and supporting you in every needs. 
> 
> I hope the rapist will get a better punishment.


	22. 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi is depressed...

Yoongi locked himself inside his room, Namjoon nowhere to be seen.

It's been a week since it happened and not even a member knows what exactly happened to Yoongi. After his breakdown in the midnight where Seokjin found him, he's been locking himself up till today.

For Namjoon, they've lost contact with the leader. The only thing that makes them less worried is when they get a news of Namjoon's vacation from Sejin and Bang Pd. There's just one question though, why he didn't tell them?

Yoongi's been sitting on the long bench inside his room with his leg bend to reach his chest, his head on his kneecaps as he tilted his head aimlessly to the outside world from his window. He won't move away from his fixed position, just sitting there with emotionless face. The only time he stepped on the floor is when he had to take shower and change clothes.

Seokjin knocked on the door before coming in with a tray of lunches food on top of it along with a glass of warm milk. His face retorted with a sad look as he slowly move to the middle of the room and carefully put the tray on the coffee table. 

Seokjin sigh as he watched the never changed posture from the depressed guy before he chooses to sit at the edge of his toes. Yoongi didn't even glance or flinch and that makes the eldest worried more.

"Yoongi, your lunch is here. Wanna eat it by yourself or letting me help you?" Seokjin asked softly, knowing the fragile boy in front of him.

"I'm not hungry," Yoongi muttered, his eyes never leave the sight the flying tree leaves.

"But Yoongi, you haven't eaten.. please eat, for me," Seokjin persuaded more with a still soft voice as he touched the boys feet softly. Even the action didn't make the boy flinched. 

Seokjin sigh as he didn't receive any response from Yoongi before standing, "eat it when you want to, okay? I'll leave it here," Seokjin blink the tears that will flow soon if he didn't walk away from the room quickly.

Yoongi didn't even whine or complaining like he usually does when Seokjin press his lips on his forehead and ruffle it before going outside.

He remained still.

~

"He's still the same?" Hoseok asked as he leaned against Yoongi outside wall room, crossing his arms on his chest, his shoulder rise and stiff with stress and problems that keeps on coming to them.

Seokjin sigh before he shakes his head. "I don't know what to do anymore. I hope it's just his episode that kicked in but it looks like there's more to it than his depression," Seokjin muttered as a tired shrug following after.

"Have you heard any news from Namjoon?" Seokjin asked while the two walking away from the room and the living room using stairs. Hoseok turned to sigh as he shakes his head. 

"It's only my gut but I think there's something going on between Namjoon and Yoongi. Both happened at almost the same day. Yoongi's sudden hysterical tantrum and Namjoon sudden decision to have a vacation. Don't you think there's a connection?" 

The two stopped walking, both thinking of Hoseok's theory. "I don't know what it is but I hope Yoongi will open up to us soon. Maybe not us but to me," Seokjin said as Hoseok brushes his forearm as a comfort act. 

"Let's pray for some miracle to happen,"

~

"Have you take your shower, Yoongi?" Seokjin asked and he receive a shake of a head from Yoongi before he stand up like a human robot and to the bathroom before Seokjin can even blink.

He sighed as he heard a soft thud of their bathroom door before he grabbed the still untouched lunch food on the table to the kitchen. 

"He didn't eat it again, did he?" Hoseok asked and he sighed as he received a nod from the eldest who is washing the plates and bowls.

Seokjin tilt upward, he right hand lose it grip on the sponge as he sighed. 'What will it do to make Yoongi open his mouth?'. 

He then stares forward before deciding, "I'm going to visit Namjoon studio later after sending Yoongi his dinner food," 

Hoseok raised his eyebrow before asking, "Why? Namjoon aren't there and which studio?" 

"Both of his studio," Seokjin pressed before he finished washing the plates. 

~

"Eat your dinner, okay? You don't have to finish it, just eat a little, okay Yoongi?" And again he didn't received any word or action from Yoongi.

Will he get some clue if he continued with his plan? Yet he was determined to find out and if there's totally something happens in there, he will confront both of them.

'Namjoon, I hope you're true with that vacation excuse,'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **
> 
> Is there even a clue inside Namjoon studio?


	23. 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **
> 
> The truth is revealed. Where could Namjoon be?

"Maybe I can find something in here," Seokjin muttered to himself as he went inside the Namjoon's studio at their Company. 

Seokjin just came back from informing the CEO about Yoongi's situation. While he passed Edora's studio, he then reminded of his passed plan. Luckily Namjoon studio aren't key or thumbprint as he key in the password. 

He pushed the door opened to see an obviously empty room. Switching on the main switch, he entered the room with slow paced, examined the surrounding before he moved further. 

"He never going here," Seokjin muttered quietly as he observed the weirdly cleaned studio. After inspecting the small bin, the couch, Namjoon computers, and the floor, he soon nod and walked out of the room.

"Better checked the other one," Seokjin nodded at himself again before going to the lift.

~

Yoongi didn't know he's trapped inside his nightmare as his physical keep on thrashing around while muttering, "no, please stop~". A broken whimpers filled the room with his thrashing movement. 

Hoseok almost dropped his cup when he heard a scream from Yoongi's room. He bolt to the room ignoring his dropped phone before rushing inside the already opened door.

"Hey, Yoongi. Wake up- Hey," Hoseok grabbed Yoongi's wrists to prevent him from thrashing more yet he can't wake the eldest up as he keep on producing broken whimpers sound and whispering, "no~" as a broken sobs following after.

Hoseok heart broken at seeing this as he brought Yoongi to his chest, comforting him and whispering sweet-nothing words on his ears. 

Yoongi eyes opened as his heart beating rapidly. He thrashing around again after knowing someone arms circling his physical. 

"Stop! Please~ Let me go~ it's hurt! Stop! I will be good, please-" Hoseok eyes welled with tears dripping from it to Yoongi's hair before he sniffs and whispering, "It's Hoseok, Yoongi. I won't hurt you. Hobi won't hurt you. He never hurt you, remember?" 

Yoongi find comfort in the younger chest but his chest hurt so much he feel like he needed to say anything to lifted it burden. His sobs becoming louder although he didn't thrashed on Hoseok's embrace.

"He hurts me, Hoseok... I hate him so much~" Yoongi wailed, pressing every word with hiccups following his word. 

Hoseok heart filled with anger as his eyes throbbing with every vein almost popping out. Though he didn't show it to the fragile boy as he brought him closer to his warm body.

"Who hurt you, Yoongi? Tell me," Hoseok shushed the boy who can't stop crying now as he scooted closer to Hoseok. Hoseok almost broke the hugs after hearing the truth from Yoongi's lips.

"He raped me, Hoseok. He-" Yoongi cough before continued again like a broken casket, "He then blamed me on it~ Namjoon held me on- on the ground- he slap- he punched me- Hoseok, he- I should fight him, Hobi- I- I'm weak," 

Hoseok only see red as he tried to comfort Yoongi who is already sobbing, wailing even until his throat hurt until no more sounds coming from that mouth. All Hoseok could think of is how to kill Namjoon while he quietly comfort Yoongi.

~

Seokjin almost hyperventilating after seeing a spot of blood on Namjoon's studio carpeted floor. 

Everything almost looked normal, except for the dried blood on the floor and the broken table. He slid off the wall with blank stare, his shocked never gone, especially after discovering the blood- although it just a small puddle of blood and dried, it still create something suspicious inside him.

He had goosebumps the longer he's staying inside the room. Without closing the door, he rushed out of the room and to the living room.

He shuddered in fear, rubbing both of his upper arms. He flinched and almost gasp loudly when he saw a fierce Hoseok punching a wall in the hallway.

He ran to him and grabbed his wrist before he done more damage to his already bruised and bleeding fist. "Are you out of your mind??" Seokjin outbursts as he glares at the rapper.

"Yes, I'm out of my mind! I'm almost going insane where I plan a murder inside my head, hyung!!" 

"What is wrong with you??! Murder who??" 

"Namjoon!!" Seokjin eyes widen as his gripped loose. He never averted his eyes anywhere but Hoseok dark gaze. "Wha- what are you talking about?" 

"He raped Yoongi! That monster raped Yoongi and makes him suffer!!" Hoseok yelled before he punched the wall a final time and turned away from the shocked eldest.

"I can't believe it. Namjoon~" Seokjin muttered before he slides himself from his leaning to the tile floor. His eyes blurred with tears as his mouth wide opened. 

Hot tears coming out of him as he full out sobbing behind the wall. The trust he had at the leader, he filled that deep betrayal because of Namjoon and guilty, because he wasn't there when that happened.

He cried on that exact spot without waking up, too overwhelmed with the mix feeling he had.

~

"We should report it," Hoseok said after they were alone as they forced the maknae line to sleep. 

"Will Yoongi agree of it? As much as I want Yoongi to have justice, we need his opinion," Hoseok growl as he added, "He did something unforgivable, hyung," 

"~but will you do something behind Yoongi's back? What if he heard about us reporting without him knowing, did you ever consider his feelings?" As much as Hoseok wish to get Yoongi his justice, he agreed of the eldest word.

They can't do things behind his back. His trust to people already too low and doing something like that, they might lose Yoongi forever and that's frighten the two.

"Where's Namjoon now? For how long will he hide himself? Until when will he used the excuse of vacation to run away?" Seokjin can only sigh before he shakes his head. 

He himself didn't know for how long. They practically lost contact of the leader and they didn't even know where he is now. 

"I better check on Yoongi," 

Seokjin didn't wait for the rapper to replied as he walked out of the room to the second floor where their room was at.

Will they ever going back as a normal team, again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to tell you guys, this story are almost come to its end. 
> 
> Another two or three chapters more... maybe..


	24. 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confrontation and Namjoon's where about...

"Don't," 

Hoseok fumed in anger while Seokjin only stay quiet hearing Yoongi obvious answer. 

"He did things that are disgusting and you said don't?" Hoseok exclaimed calmly although his heart far from calm.

"What's the point of reporting it? It won't turn back time," Yoongi muttered. His grip on the thick blanket tighten as the memories of that night haunting again. 

"And let Namjoon get away with it?" Yoongi flinched at the name that were flown out from Hoseok mouth before composing himself. 

"Our group's reputation will get a hit of it, Hoseok. With our scandals, it will open up more opportunities to the company that hates us to stabbed us from our back," Yoongi muttered before he continued, 

"I'm fine now, Hoseok. It's true. After telling the truth to you, I feel peace after a week. Please, respect my decision, Hoseok. For our group's name,"

It's hard for Hoseok not broke from his hard shell as Yoongi looking at him with pleading eyes. Seokjin stare at him and nodded, his hands never leaves Yoongi's hand. 

Hoseok think before he sighed, "Okay, we won't do anything, but, please get a therapy," 

"You're still not okay, Yoongi. You too know that. It's okay to leaned on other's shoulder, Yoongi and please, don't blame yourself. No one should be blamed of, okay?" 

Yoongi small nodded at Seokjin's word before he averted his gaze to Hoseok eyes. "Okay, I'll do what you guys said," 

Hoseok smile while Seokjin sigh in relief. 

~

"Why are you two being too secretive to us three? Aren't we a part of this family too?" 

Hoseok sigh but still averted his attention to the impatient Jimin on his bed. Hoseok grabbed his shirt on the floor before joining Jimin inside the duvet. 

"We trust you guys just, it's too complicated for you guys to handle it. Everything's okay now," Jimin scooted closer to the eldest, wrapping his arms on Hoseok tiny waist as he nuzzled his head on his chest. 

"I'm an adult too, Hoseok," Hoseok peck the top of his head before leisurely ruffled it. 

"I know but this is Yoongi's request too, you know. It didn't mean he didn't trust any of you, he just didn't want to burden you guys," Jimin pout getting longer as he played with Hoseok's shirt. 

"Don't worry, honey. Yoongi will be fine. He will come to us just like before, okay?" Hoseok pecked his lips after he tilted his head up. 

Jimin only hoped for the best.

~

"No news from Namjoon?" 

Sejin clears his throat before shaking his head, averting his gaze to anywhere but the raven eyes. 

"You hide something from us, don't you?" 

"No, I don't. Seokjin," the male scoffs as he tapped his fingers on the coffee table. He asked for a meeting with Sejin at the cafe close to their dorm.

"I'm not meant to hide something from you. If I can do both, I will do it for you guys but right now, I'm holding someone's secret, Seokjin," Sejin revealed after a long silent from the two.

"So, you know where Namjoon is?" Sejin nodded before he finished his drink.

"Where is he now?" Seokjin aren't a patient guy. He needs to meet Namjoon, to get the answers to his questions.

"Two words, mental hospital," Seokjin mouth gap opened, his fingers no longer tapping and his head take it longer to process the information. 

"What- what do you mean?" 

"There's something you need to know about Namjoon. Actually, Bang Pd and I already known about his condition. I don't know why it's getting worse," 

Seokjin was confused. He didn't know one thing of what Sejin told him.

Sejin sigh before he started explaining.

~

"Ho- Jimin," Yoongi shocked to see Jimin fetched him from his therapy session instead of Hoseok as he promised. 

"Hoseok said he needed to go somewhere and he asked for an apology. He asked me to fetched you instead," Yoongi nodded before he tailing Jimin to their car.

"Don't worry, hyung. Jungkook's driving. You know I don't have a licence, do you?" Yoongi soft chuckles brought a smile to the younger before he open the car door to let Yoongi in.

"Jungkook," Jungkook nodded from the rear mirror before he started driving away from the building complex.

"Seokjin hyung went out with Sejin hyung, Taehyung and Hoseok said he went somewhere but they never tell. It's just me and Jungkook so that's why Hoseok gave the task to fetch you to us," Jimin ended with a smile and a peace symbol making the eldest snorts before averted his gaze again at the tall buildings.

They're quiet for a moment before Jungkook asked again, "how's the session, hyung?" Jungkook tapped the steering wheel with his finger while focusing on the road.

"Better," Jungkook nodded. He glanced at the short eldest besides him before averted his eyes to the road in front of him again.

~

"How do you know?" 

Taehyung lips looped upward before bringing the lit cigarettes to his fleshy lips. 

"I accidentally heard Yoongi as I walk passed the room. I heard it loud and clear. I might a member that are famous with his blank stare but trust me, I can read situation," Hoseok smirk before bringing his alcohol tin to his lips, sipping it until it finished.

"Where's Namjoon now?" Hoseok wondered as he stares at the yellow sky farther from the place they seated. 

"Ilsan," Hoseok almost choked on his new drink after hearing Taehyung's sudden reply. 

"Sejin told me and before Namjoon disappears, he told me he needed help?~ with himself? I don't know. That's the last time I saw him," Taehyung throw the short lid to the ground and smashed it with his heel.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Hoseok didn't know how to express his feelings. He can only look at Taehyung with blank expression.

"Just like Sejin, I hold someone's promise," 

Taehyung watched the eldest who's emptying the second tin with soft expression before averting his gaze to the clear water underneath their feet. "Don't worry, hyung. He will come to us, one day," 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **what shit is this?
> 
> Like I said, the story going to end..


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok and Taehyung are at Ilsan, Seokjin finally know Namjoon big secret...

"Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Bipolar,"

"BPD. What is that? Is that even a mental illness?" 

"Yeah... he's actually getting better a few years ago. I don't know what could be the cause of it to resurfaced, again," 

Seokjin gritted his teeth, remembering his conversation with Sejin.

"Namjoon almost all the time changes his mood and mind, acting aggressive yet something emotionless. That's some of the symptoms of BPD and I started to figure that he's getting his old illness back after seeing and experiencing his foul mood, if I'm not mistaken, five months ago?"

"But, he's totally fine, Sejin. You said five- he's fine beforehand. I don't believe you. You're trying to create a story,"

"Why would I? I love you guys like my own sons and brothers do you think I will do such a thing?"

Honk from the back of his car startled him from his thoughts before looking from his rear mirror to see a very mad driver pointing fingers at him. 

He turned to the left with a rapid move his tire screeching with his crazy movement.

"I said you're lying,"

"Why would I do that, Seokjin?"

"You know he did something unforgivable?"

"Even if he did something dangerous, it's because of his illness-"

"He raped Yoongi then choose the right time to run away. That's why I said you're lying to hide Namjoon's mistake," 

Seokjin watches as Sejin face contort to a surprise expression. His mouth gap opened, moving yet nothing were out from his mouth. 

"Oh God~" Sejin muttered as he leaned his back on the chair with a silent thud, his eyes still fixed on Seokjin.

"I didn't- Oh god! I didn't know, Seokjin. I- Oh my god!" 

Seokjin eyes widen with a gasp sounds from his mouth. He almost drove straight to the back of a big lorry. He move his steering wheel to the right quickly. 

"I should stop," he muttered to himself. 

"Please don't tell the others. I know everyone of you trying to find Namjoon, seeking an explanation and wanted justice for Yoongi. Not now, please,"

"Why are you telling me all of this?"

"Because I know you're the right person to keep this secret. Namjoon told me to explain everything to you, except he never told me about Yoongi," Sejin sigh as regret filled his heart.

"It's not your fault, Sejin," Seokjin said with a sad smile. Sejin already done so much to them and it's a wrong things to blame Sejin when he's only want the best for them, a manager who's staying with them for almost eight years.

"You're just trying to help. Thank you," Sejin tilt his head to make contacts with Seokjin. He nodded with blurry eyes. 

"If you see Namjoon, hyung, please send him my regards and tell him, we missed him. Tell him that we will be waiting for him," Sejin nodded as he watched the brunette standing up and walked out of the cafe.

Seokjin unlocked the door and getting in silently to see a dark house meaning his members aren't home yet, especially Yoongi.

He unlocked his phone to see messages history from his members, one from Yoongi.

"Hyung, want some lamb skewer?"

Yoongi

Seokjin smile fondly at that one simple message. He wanted to reply back but looking at the time he sent the message, he brushed off the idea as he scroll to other messages.

Along the walking from hallway to the kitchen, his smile never faltered as he looked at the pictures of Yoongi, Jungkook and Jimin eating lamb skewer sent by Jungkook to him. 

He then opened Hoseok's messages. His smile faltered and he suddenly gone panicked.

"I'm going to Ilsan with Taehyung. That's where Namjoon is. We might not come back for the night,"

Hoseok

Seokjin never reacted that fast as he replied Hoseok text.

"Stop any of this. Stop whatever plan you have in mind. Come back home with Tae,"

Seokjin

He then called Sejin with panicked still on him.

"Hello-" "Hyung, Hoseok and Taehyung is on the way to Namjoon. I don't know about their plan either,"

There's silent before he heard Sejin cursed, "Don't worry. I know what I can do," Sejin cut off the phone before he's even saying anything.

"Don't worry, hyung. I won't do anything to him," 

Hoseok

Seokjin don't know either to trust Hoseok or tailing him to Ilsan but it will create suspicious thought to the other remaining members, especially Yoongi. He just hope Hoseok is true to his words.

~

"You won't do anything bad, right?" 

Hoseok didn't even saying anything as they used the lift to get to their room. 

It's a drastic decision so they didn't bring any extra clothes as they drove to Ilsan and choose a cheap motel to rent for a night. 

"Don't worry, Taehyung. I'm still sane enough to know what I should do and shouldn't do," Taehyung hummed and the two walking out almost spontaneously of the lift. 

Hoseok scanned the key card and the door opened as he let the youngest in. Taehyung walked further until he reached the two single beds. 

"Clean up and get some rest. We will go to the only mental hospital this Ilsan have tomorrow," 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **at first, the writing beautifully written and when it has almost come to an end, it sounds shitty...**
> 
> P/s- I basically copy pasted from wattpad (my own work if that concern you) and I tried to make some of the seokjin and sejin previous conversation (change it to different font) but it looks like ao3 aren't cooperating...


	26. 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little Yoongi is arise, again...

"Daddy," 

Seokjin only slurred a hum before he turned to face the shelf. 

Yoongi lips trembling when Seokjin ignored him. He flinch when a deafening sound of thunder strikes the earth with its blinding light showing on the window. 

With kumamon plush tightly gripped on right hand, he used another hand to try waking up the eldest. 

"Daddy," this time it works. He might smile if not for the scary lights and sounds plus the harsh splashes of rain on the outside. 

Seokjin fists his lower eyes as he brushes them to wake him up before he turned to his right side. The room is dark but the source of lights from the outside making it clear for him to know that it's Yoongi who's been calling him.

'I thought I was dreaming,'

He turned on the night lamp beside his bed before averted his gaze to the younger. He panicked when he saw the face crumbled with the lips dangerously trembling, trying to suppress his crying.

Yoongi flinched when another thunder strikes and without words, he jumped onto Seokjin laps and hugged him tightly. 

Seokjin were obstruct only then finally reading the situation. Yoongi scared of the thunder and- 'did he called me daddy just now?!'

"Baby?" Seokjin tested as he cupped the boys wet and blotchy face. "Daddy~ 'm scared... the wight ish scawy..it has scawy sound... don't 'ike it," he shakes his head repeatedly before hiding his face on Seokjin's chest. 

Seokjin chuckled before wrapping his arms on Yoongi's back, pulling him closer to his chest before whispering soft-comfort words on Yoongi's ear.

"Aigoo, my baby is scared of thunder. Don't worry, daddy is here," Seokjin lulled a 'butterfly' song on his ears, a song Yoongi fond of when he's on little space, a song that can make him sleep peacefully with daddy superb voice- Yoongi said.

Seokjin pecked his forehead after he feel the soft snores from vibrating on his chest before lying him on the empty side next to his bed. The eldest drab his blanket on Yoongi, sharing the duvet before he too lying down.

After watching the little for gods know how long, he finally falling asleep, arms circling Yoongi's waist.

~

Kitten yawn escaped Yoongi's chapped lips as he stared at the Mario figurines on Seokjin table. Instead of freaking out knowing he's sleeping with Seokjin, a big smile forming on his face as he makes grabby hands at the plushie, hoping it will magically come to him. 

A pout forming on his lips when the plushie didn't even get closer to him. He who's still lying turned to his left side to see a still sleeping Seokjin, hands lazily placed on his own chest, mouth partly open.

His frown deepen seeing his caregiver still sleeping and it's not fair as he's the only one that awake. 

Climbing on top of the eldest, he steady himself by putting both of his hands on his chest, pout still prominent before he poked Seokjin cheek. The unconscious scrunch of Seokjin's nose causing a loud giggle to erupted from the little mouth. 

His bouncing and his constant poking on Seokjin cheek making him slightly groan before he opened his eyes to meet with a sunshine itself, smiling showing his pink gummy and white teeth to the eldest. 

"Daddy 'wake," Yoongi was happy. His plan is working as he keeps on bouncing happily while clapping his hands. 

'He's finally falling,' Seokjin thought with a mix feeling he will never be able to describe. Seokjin stopped the raven from bouncing more by putting his hands on Yoongi's waist. 

Seokjin faced contort into a fond smile before he sat up and pull the baby closer to him. "Why is my baby wake up this early, huh?"

Yoongi pout before he pointed to the windows, "sun is up, ish mo'ing, daddy," Seokjin take a gasp before exaggerating, "Is it? Daddy don't know,"

Giggles erupted from Yoongi, "daddy ish silly. Yoonie smart," he patted his own chest with a proud smile as he looked at Seokjin with big, innocent eyes. 

"Yes, and daddy proud of you," before he peck the boys cheek but as usual, being wiped away by Yoongi with his face crunch with disgust as he looked at the eldest with glare. A cute glare.

"Is my baby hungry? For my baby, I will makes nugget," cute giggles followed with claps as Yoongi chanting, "nugget, daddy... nugget... yum yum..." 

Seokjin can feel his heart melting. 'Wish Hoseok can see it,'.

~

"Is Hoseok and Taehyung coming home?" Seokjin asked while feeding the little his small pieces, already cut nugget. 

Jimin shake his head with pout shown, "he didn't come home last night. I end up sleeping with Jungkook last night,". 

Just like Yoongi, Jimin also known with his fear of thunder too, because of his past. Everyone knows about it but never bring it in front of him because they know how upset he will be.

"Aww, Jimin hyung. My door is always open for you. Just come inside if you need anything or simply hanging out and sleeping with me," Jungkook cooed as he being his spoonful of noodle and feel Jimin with it. 

"Appa, aah~" Yoongi said mimicking his daddy by feeding Jimin his nugget- attempt to as the nugget accidentally smeared on Jimin cheeks. Instead of feeling guilty, Yoongi find it funny as giggles erupted from him.

"Yoongi-ah," Seokjin warned- or more to as Yoongi still giggling. Seokjin shake his head before a fond smile forming on his face.

How he wish all of the members are here. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **
> 
> Just a fluff because it won't be a story of little if Yoongi aren't little.
> 
> That is not a flashback. Yoongi accidentally falling into his headspace because of his fear of the thunder. Nothing as if he's volunteering or shit.
> 
> It still about Namjoon cases.**


	27. 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yea... Namjoon finally appeared....

"How are you, Namjoon?" 

The room is blinding white, too white it looks colorless. One small window on the left wall and a single bed in the middle of the small room. There's a vase of tulips flower on the desk beside his bed. Namjoon sitting in the middle of the bed, staring blankly on the two members.

"We missed you," Taehyung started as the leader seems deciding to not answered Hoseok's question. 

After what feels like a ten minutes silent, Namjoon muttered, "How's the others?" His eyes averting from Taehyung to Hoseok before drifted to the small window on his left.

"They're doing great, just missing you that's all," 

"Yoongi almost healing too," Taehyung harshly nudge Hoseok who's glaring at him in return.

"It's okay if you guys don't like me anymore to be your leader-"

"That's for Yoongi to decide, not us. After this treatment, come back to us. At least, let us kick and punch you before your kick out by Yoongi," Namjoon frown turned into a small smile hearing Hoseok threat.

"Yeah... I will come back after my treatment. Send my regards to them," Taehyung is the first to move closer to Namjoon and brought him to his hug, embrace him tightly while whispering, "we will waiting for you, leader-nim," 

"Ayy, without me?" Hoseok joined the hug before breaking it off, "Attend every therapy sessions and eat your medicine, hyung. We will be okay, you know? As long as your come back to us, healthy," 

Namjoon watched with teary eyes as his members walking out of the room, leaving him lonely, again. 

He hate staying here, in the white room. The nurses, the doctor and other patients, they are great but he admit that he missed all of his members.

With a new spirit to recover, he wipe his tears and pull out a book gifted by the doctor that tend him and turn to a first blank page. Uncapped the pen, he write his thought on the paper.

He will do his best, this time.

~

"Yoongi, stop it~" the little stopped and stare at the eldest with big shining eyes before his ears redden and the lips trembling dangerously. 

He's only in Jin's big sweater without anything at the bottom and Seokjin been chasing him since- well, 20 minutes ago. Seokjin now really wished Hoseok and Taehyung's here because they are the only members that can disciplined the little.

"Come here, little boy? You don't want your daddy to get mad, do you?" Yoongi waddle to his daddy and throwing his arms to wrapped on Seokjin's shoulder. 

"Yoongi bad boy~" they're a hint of upset from his voice as Seokjin cooed softly on his ears. "Let's get you pants on, okay? My good little boy," Seokjin lifted him to his side hip and walked to their room together.

The dorm is quiet, too quiet with the lack of the others. Such a big house with minimal people inside of it. He missed the dorm that were used to be loud with the maknae line scream and shouts.

He laid Yoongi on the soft baby mat on the changing table and gave him his turtle plushie to makes him busy while he's wearing Yoongi his diapers and boxer. 

With a raspberry blow on his tummy and a giggle from the little, he lifted Yoongi by his armpit before placing his hand on Yoongi bottom while the others are used to opened the closed door room.

"Baby sit here, okay? Daddy makes warm chocolate milk for my baby," Seokjin blow another raspberry to his chubby cheeks receiving a shriek and giggles from Yoongi making Seokjin swoon.

One arm used to supported Yoongi on the counter while the other hand used to make drinks for the little.

He's surprisingly doing well with this multitasking things after being a caregiver and the eldest of the group. That's why all of the members turning to him when they need his help. 

"Let's wait for the others at the living room baby," he went to the living room together with Yoongi on his hip while his other hand shaking the warm bottle on his way to the room.

Seokjin sit on the long couch with Yoongi as he placed the bottle on the coffee table before rearranging Yoongi's lying position on his lap. After retrieving the bottle, he placed the tip on Yoongi upper lips before the little opened his mouth and wrap his chapped lips on it and sucking it while his eyes bored lazily to his daddy, his fist gripped to Jin hem of shirt.

Seokjin hummed while patting softly his bummed before he was met with a soft snore later. Looking down, he saw the already sleeping Yoongi with his bottle tip still on his mouth, his mouth opened slightly wide.

Seokjin cooed as he pulling the bottle from his grip softly and placed it on the table before grabbing a blanket from the armrest of the couch and drab it on Yoongi.

The door is opened revealing the two members who didn't coming home two days ago, Hoseok and Taehyung. 

"Hyung," Hoseok greeted after seeing the eldest head after he turned away from the shoe rack. Taehyung walked slowly to the eldest after Seokjin gave them a quiet signal with his finger on his front mouth.

"He's been a little since we're gone?" Hoseok said after spotting the half empty bottle on the table. Seokjin only nodding while a fond smile shown as he watched Yoongi calm face.

"We-" 

"We'll talk after I put the baby on his bed. Wait here," Seokjin lifted the baby slowly and bring him to their room before lying Yoongi on his bed, finishing it by pulling the blanket to his shoulder length before pecking a soft kiss on his forehead and chapped lips.

~

"For how long?" 

Hoseok and Taehyung explained to Seokjin and the others except Yoongi about their meeting with Namjoon, which receiving a mix reaction from them.

"Until he's recovery," Hoseok shrug before averted his head to the empty hallway. Luckily Yoongi is in deep sleep or else he might think the worse if He accidentally hear them.

"He sent his love to you guys. He said he missed you guys, us. He promised he will come back to us," Seokjin nodded when his eyes met with Hoseok brown eyes, only they understand what's that means.

Little did they know, Yoongi been waking up long ago and standing silently behind the wall, fully big before he stepped in,

"I miss him too,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **
> 
> Hohoho ... 


	28. 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi and his psychiatrist finally making an appearance...

"I miss him too,"

Seokjin stand up slowly as he averted his gaze to the short boy behind the wall. 

"You're awake," they followed the shy boy by their eyes as he walked up to them and sit next to Seokjin. Yoongi trailed his eyes from the eldest black eyes and ended at Taehyung before started, "I miss our leader so much. That kind, clumsy yet intelligent leader and dongsaeng. Where is he?" 

Seokjin broke the gaze he look at Hoseok, sending help by his eyes. Hoseok sigh before replying to the pale rapper, "he's at Ilsan, hyung, for a vacation. Don't you remember what Sejin told us before?" 

Yoongi cold stare at him making him gulp before averting his eyes somewhere but Yoongi. "You're a bad liar. Stop hiding everything from me please? I know...no.. hear everything. He's at mental institution now, is it true?" 

Jimin and Jungkook exchanges gaze before looking at Yoongi and Hoseok. 

"I'm sorry, hyung for lying. Yes, he's at the hospital right now and he's on the verge of recovering. He sent his regard, hyung," Yoongi nodded but his eyes glistening with crystal tears showing. 

Yoongi know now isn't the right time to be emotional so he abruptly wipe his teary eyes with his fist before averting his eyes to the eldest, "I hope he will be fine. He will be, right hyung?" 

Seokjin pulled a sad smile at the rapper who is staring at him with doe eyes, "Of course, Yoongi. The doctor will take good care of him. Don't worry, Namjoon is a high spirit man and we all know that."

Jimin holds Jungkook hand as they watched the elder nods before hugging Seokjin tightly. 

"When he's back, I want to punch him, or kick him on his shin... just I want him here," Yoongi mutter on Seokjin chest before giving in to Seokjin warm embrace. 

"Yeah.. you do it, we won't stop you," Hoseok pull Taehyung to him as he drab his arms behind the youngest back. 

Everyone have the same thing in mind, for Namjoon to fully recovery and come back to them as the leader and brother that they once know.

~

"How are you feeling now, Yoongi-ssi?" 

It's Yoongi last therapy session and he can feel he's becoming much better than when he first attended the session. He's lucky to have such a considerate and kind psychiatrist like Dr. Ahn Hani.

"Heh... I'm doing great. I've made our tenth songs this week and it turns out sounds great," Hani mimicked the bright smile showing on her patient that she already care like as her little brother, feeling happy too with his bright aura as he jot important point on Yoongi sketch book.

"It's great to hear that, Yoongi. I know it's hard for you but remember this, you have a very supportive members behind your back. Don't ever hide things from them, okay?" Yoongi nodded, his gummy smile never faltered from his face. 

"Good," she smile fondly. "I know this sounds like I'm being busy body but, I'm not intended to do so," Hani sigh, afraid to make Yoongi uncomfortable, "Will you forgive him, Yoongi?" 

Yoongi sigh but his smile never faltered from his face before he confidently stared at his doctor's eyes, "Everyone made mistake, he's no exception. I made mistakes too, Noona made mistakes too, we humans will always make mistakes. He's sick too, right doctor? Like me... 

I know it will be hard for me to forget that. He will know that too, our relationship will be awkward in the future, I can picture it but, I don't want our once close relationship to get tear apart just because of this accident," Yoongi catches his breathe before continued again, "People will question, why I don't take any action after what he's been done? You're stupid, that's what others will say of me but,

Am I that heartless to break the once close family that I have? Like you said Noona, times will heel. I hope it will," Hani smiled at the boys after jotting the important keywords on Yoongi's record book.

"Wah, my little patient already sounds like a mature person. But, Yoongi-ah, if you feel bad about your feelings, it's okay sometimes to lean on others shoulder, okay? It's okay to show your vulnerable sides to your members because I know, they are a great members. You even told me once, Yoongi-ah .. you praised them, including him," 

Yoongi let his fingers brushes the soft armrest, following its trail as his mind processing on what his psychiatrist told him. "The reason this happened is because of my blown secrets. If I just-"

"It will happen eventually even though you might not be the one who is a little. If someone besides you coming out as a little and this accident happened, he then blamed himself for it although it's fully not his fault, will you let him think that way?" 

Yoongi answered her quickly before Hani can even blink, "No. I will comfort him and whispered to his ears that all of this isn't his fault," Hani smiled before opening her mouth to speak, "Isn't that what your members been trying to do? You said they've been trying to make you falling into your headspace and how annoying it was, that is what you've been telling me. Say, Yoongi, will you do the same to the others too if they come out as a little and faced this kind of problem?" 

Yoongi keep quiet for a moment, letting his mind working furiously before replying with a sigh, "I will do the same too, making him trust that I will take care of him and a secret way to said that, it's not his fault problem....keep coming," Yoongi trail over his last words as he stared blankly at the globe besides Hani.

'That's what my members been doing this precious week. I'm too blind by my own depressed thought I didn't see their effort,' Yoongi eyes glittering with tears that going to fall to his cheeks. 

"Don't blame yourself. You aren't attending my therapy to get depressed and sad again, you gotta be kidding me," Hani exaggerate her last word making the boy giggles. 

"You're just suffering too long to notice it. It's okay, Yoongi. I'm sure your members will understand it, understand why you're not falling like they hope to and trying their best to make you happy," Hani cooed internally as the patient in front of her wiping his cheeks with his fist, his button nose red and a natural blush forming on both cheeks.

'I feel like a fucking weirdo,' before she cleared her throat and looked at her watched on her left wrist. "Oh look at the time. It looks like we have a lot to share and the times are jealous of us," Hani fake her upset mood with her exaggerated pout causing a soft giggle to immerse from the boy. 

"Thank you Noona for everything," Yoongi said as he bowed 90 degrees, showing his grateful and thanks to her before the girl brush off his polite gesture, "Just don't come here again, Yoongi. I mean it. Take care of yourself, and remember, you have your own heart to take care of so love yourself first, okay?"

Yoongi smile before he retort back by saying, "I will come here sooner, Noona...but to have food date with you," Hani playfully scowl before she waves at him. 

Hani sigh as the boys walking out of the room. She leaned her back on the chair before muttering, "I mean every of my words, Yoongi. Please be happy always, namdongsaeng,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **
> 
> We have Yoongi and his psychiatrist... what else's..
> 
> Oh yes.. a comeback from Namjoon I know everyone here miss Namjoon... and me too..**


	29. 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon finally recovery and out of the hospital...

4 months later...

Namjoon sigh a deep breaths of fresh air after coming out of the confiscated room and hospital for 4 months. He finally free- fully recovery and with the thought of missing all of his friends.

He smiled as he saw his mother waving at him from inside the car before he walked over her. After putting his clothes bag at the back seat, he entered the car, buckled his seat and closed the door to great his mother.

"Hi, mom. It's good to finally get close to you," Mrs. Kim smiled at him before replying, "Me too, Namjoon. My baby boy's finally recovering but, please eat your medicines as prescribed. I know I shouldn't kill the joy of your mood but as a mother, I'm worried if you. I love you, you know that right?"

Namjoon nodded with his dimple smile never faltered from his face, "you are never a killjoy to me. I know and from now own I will change for the best," Mrs. Kim smiled and muttered, "that's my son," before driving away from the hospital park.

"Well will you go back to your members?" Namjoon sigh before averted his gaze to the lining of the street lamp on his right. He leaned his back on the chair, "I don't know. We will see the outcomes of it," 

Mrs. Kim clicked her tongue before replying, "You shouldn't punish yourself for something you can't control. Feeling guilty, yes you can keep it but to punish yourself, aren't you too harsh on yourself?"

Namjoon chuckled at his mother's straightforward, "I won't punished myself after receiving at least a forgiveness from Yoongi. If he wants me to turn myself, I will do it willingly if that makes me genuinely happy, mom," 

His mother didn't say anything afterward. At the news she heard from her son own mouth four months ago, she's almost exploded and her mouth never stopped nagging at his stupid son but she can't partly blame it on Namjoon too. 

She should always be in contact with her eldest son yet she never done that. She thought his son already recover from his mental illnesses- she thought wrong, really wrong of it. The wrong has been done, and there's nothing that can be done to change the past except focusing on the future.

"I've cook your favourite food plus your favourite kimchi at home. Your sister's coming back from her dormitory too to hang out with you," Namjoon smile as his little sister's image appeared inside his healthy mind. He missed his sister so much.

He missed his members too.

~

"Hyung~" Yoongi whined as he ran towards the eldest who's currently relaxing on the couch while reading his novel, his round glasses hanging low on his nose as he changed his gaze from the book to Yoongi.

"What is it, Yoongi?" Seokjin said with a smile appeared on his handsome face, trailing his eyes to Yoongi's pout and- is that a hint of dry tears on his cheek? 

Seokjin put his book and glasses on the table as he pulled Yoongi towards him and checked his face by cupping his big hands on both of Yoongi's cheek. Worried look crawled up to his face as he looked at his brown eyes, "Yah, why are you crying? Who I should kill this time?" 

Seokjin already planned all sort of punishment to give to whoever makes his baby upset-

"It's you that makes me cry," Yoongi whined again with a pout still shown. Seokjin can't find his heart anymore. He thinks it has gone missing and he doesn't know where it was placed. How could Yoongi showing up with that cute face- wait....

"Me?? What did I do now?" Seokjin baffled as he pointed at himself with disbelieve looks shown, obviously clueless to what Yoongi been saying. 

Yoongi pout still prominent on his pale face before muttering, "Your song... why it have to be a sad song? I cry because of it~" 

Seokjin chuckled at the youngest. He fine it funny yet feel proud of himself that his song can make Yoongi, a cold-hearted boy crying. 

"Why are you laughing? I told the truth and you should listen to me," Yoongi whined as he talked with his pout. Where can be find extra heart? 

Seokjin pulled the still upset and pouting baby to his lap, sitting him and making Yoongi faced him, "Are you sure you're not a little right now?" 

Yoongi's cheeks glow to a cute pink colour before hiding his burning face on the eldest chest. "I'm not, okay. Can't I being cuddly all the times?" 

Seokjin chuckled at the suddenly cute acting of Yoongi that almost never happened. Seokjin previous life must be a blessing as he gets to experience it- once a lifetime experience.

"Why are you so cute then? Don't get too cute, baby or I can't find my own heart with that sudden attack," Seokjin said exaggerating his word before he kissed his left temple. He brought the boy close to his chest, landing his hands on his cute buttocks before trailing his hands to Yoongi cute waist and circling his arms on it.

"You're weird," Yoongi muttered from his chest with a hint of slurred before tightened his arms on the eldest waist, feeling content with the closed contact.

"Yeah, yeah..." They stayed like that, ignoring the weird and fond looks on the others.

They broke away from the hug after hearing a ring of their door from the outside. Hoseok looked at the eldest eyes before walking to the door and opened it only to gaps with mixed feelings from seeing the person in front of him.

"Hi, Hoseok,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **
> 
> Huhu ... It's going to end.
> 
> The books are going to meet its end soon..gonna miss my baby..


	30. 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon come back to his members and all problems are solved...

Namjoon pressed his lips as he watched the eldest busy preparing dinner for them and especially to celebrate his arrival- which he feel aren't necessary because all of the eldest effort makes him more guilty after remembering what he had just done.

"You don't have to prepare for that many, hyung," Seokjin playfully rolled his eyes before averted his gaze to the leader. Namjoon pout becoming prominent as he rested his right cheek on his propped hand. 

"Why not? You've gone for almost a year-" Namjoon playfully rolled his eyes as he cut Seokjin's word, "it's just for four month, hyung. You're too over,"

Seokjin scoffed as he shushed the leader before continuing, "like I said, we missed you. Yoongi too," Seokjin bring the tip of the ladder to his upper lips before dipping the tip of his tongue on it. 'Not back,'

He hummed in satisfaction before putting the ladder back to the plate beside the pot before looking at Namjoon back.

"Yoongi?" Namjoon frown as he slowly rested his arms on top of the table, his head slowly tilt back to Seokjin. 

Seokjin nodded, a fond smile creep on his face, "Yes, Yoongi. Oh, prepare your ass," Namjoon eyebrows almost touched by its end after hearing Seokjin weird words.

"He said he'll going to kick your ass, your shin, slapped your face after what you've done to him," Seokjin teasing smile changed into a frown and slight guilty after seeing Namjoon face changed as he looked down on his lap.

"I'm- I'm sorry, Namjoon. I-" 

"It's okay, hyung. The incident won't just gone like that, right? It will forever haunt me anyway so let just live with it," Namjoon said with a small smile, assuring the eldest he's fine.

Seokjin blink the tears welling in his eyes before clearing his throat and averted his gaze to the boiling pot, "Go and see Hoseok. You and him have an unfinished business too, right?" 

Namjoon stood from his seat before walking out of the kitchen after excused himself. 

"Namjoon," Seokjin muttered to himself before cutting the tofu into small dice.

~

"Hoseok," Namjoon freeze on the door frame after witnessing something his eyes and brain can't handle it. 

Hoseok jumped from attacking the small boy on his lips before sitting up straight, clearing his throat to hide his embarrassment that crept to his face. 

Jimin almost shriek from the blanket where he's been hiding his face with, before jumped from the eldest bed and run off to find Taehyung before Namjoon even question anything.

Hoseok look at the boy with longing look before changing his posture as Namjoon looking at him with naughty look. 

"Many thing's change after I'm gone," Namjoon tilted his head and placed his index finger and thumb under his lower chin, pretend to think. 

Namjoon face crumbled into a smile and laughs later after Hoseok thrown pillow to him before he catches it.

"No one will judge it. Are you forget? I'm bi," Hoseok rolled his eyes before getting serious, "What?" 

"What?" Namjoon mock before he stretched his arms above his head, admit defeat as he chooses to sit on Jimin's bed across Hoseok. 

"I did many things in the past, terrible things not only between me and Yoongi, but also to all of you guys, especially you, Hoseok," Hoseok stare before chuckled softly as he averted his eyes to the cushion on his chair. 

"Whatever you said or did to me, I don't get affected by it. It's Yoongi who you should ask for forgiveness," Namjoon sigh as he nodded, agreeing to what the sunshine boy said.

"Maybe we should... held a meeting?" Namjoon scratched his nape, rubbing it as he look at Hoseok.

"No, talk to him privately. If you want me to accompany you, I will do it. Jungkook and Jimin didn't know about all of this, Namjoon. I don't want them to lose their respect on you, our leader," 

"Don't worry. Seokjin won't let Yoongi disappear before his eyes. He will be there too with Yoongi and I will be there beside you," 

Namjoon can't believe how kind and caring Hoseok is after what he just did not on to him, to Yoongi too. Whatever Yoongi decided, either he wants him to turn himself or walk out of the group, he will do it. Even he is disgust of himself.

"Thank you, Hoseok," 

"Ayy, what friends are for, huh?" 

~

Seokjin is sitting beside Yoongi on Hoseok's couch inside his studio while Namjoon sitting on Hoseok work's chair with Hoseok standing beside him. 

Yoongi gasp while Seokjin eyes almost pop out of its socket when Namjoon suddenly dropped to the ground kneeling and bow down, his forehead meet the floor. "I know I did something you won't forgive. I can't use my illness to escape the wrong I've done. Believe me when I'm saying this Yoongi, after the filthy things I did to you, I'm in deep regret. The guilt stabbed me and I feel that insane pain not only on my head, but my heart too. 

The thought of hurting you, making you traumatize, I almost killed myself," Namjoon sit up from his bowing pose before staring at Yoongi with blurry eyes, "whatever the decision you're making, I will face it with an open heart, as long as you're happy," 

The tears on Yoongi eyes finally break from its wall to his reddened cheeks as he scooted closer to the eldest. "You won't feel how I feel. Pain and I hate myself after that. I feel how dirty my body was, that I scrubbed it harshly with my nails hoping to get the dirt off my skin. 

Before I'm attending a therapy session, I feel lifeless, my soul aren't letting me smile or laugh anymore because of that dark past haunting me. I got insomnia because of the nightmare that keeps on haunting my sleep," Yoongi wipe his tears harshly although new fresh blob coming out of his tears.

Seokjin rubbed his back, Hoseok mimicked him on the crying Namjoon as the leader slowly scooted towards Yoongi's leg. "I'm sorry, Yoongi," Namjoon sobs, resting his sweaty forehead on Yoongi's knee, "I'm so sorry- God! I'm- I'm a monster- I shouldn't- shouldn't get close to you,"

"If it makes you happy, I will go away- I won't be BTS leader if you want me to go- I-" Namjoon gasp and almost called flat on the floor, hitting his head as he's engulfed with a tight hugs from Yoongi.

"Don't go!" Seokjin look elsewhere, his eyes already red from controlling his emotions as Hoseok averted his gaze to his blank computer screen. 

Namjoon was reluctant but he manage to wrapped his hands and touched his shoulders, gripping it, letting Yoongi crying on his chest as he too resting his chin on top of the rapper's head.

"I hate you~ don't go," 

"I miss you," Namjoon crying more after hearing the word coming out of Yoongi's mouth that he never thought will hear it.

"I won't forgive you so you will stick with us forever until I said you can go," Namjoon smile sadly as he wipe the tears from Yoongi cheeks and eye bags before planting a kiss on Yoongi's forehead.

"I never intended to," 

They thought the talk ended, but no. Namjoon gasp and howl in pain as Yoongi suddenly slapped his cheeks. Yoongi also surprise at his sudden reflex before moving away from Namjoon and scooted closer to Seokjin. 

Hoseok chuckles in disbelief while Seokjin deadass laughing beside the already red face Yoongi. "I'm- I didn't mean it. I just- you know-"

Namjoon smile but frown with a hiss of pain as he cupped his left cheek. 'What a strong blow,'.

"If it satisfies you, just slap me whenever you get mad at me. I deserved it anyway," Namjoon don't mind getting kick or punch, even slap from Yoongi if that his way to take revenge. He deserved the slap 'and it's fucking painful from a small person like Yoongi,'.

Finally, everything almost turned into a normal time. It's better that the dark memories remained silent, to speak about it as if opened the once healed scars.

Let it be this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **
> 
> Almost done. I'm gonna do the epilogue soon so wait for it.
> 
> And .. how do you think of this chapter?**

**Author's Note:**

> Look, maybe I made a lot of mistake but I hope you guys read it. Please read it.


End file.
